A few months ago at work I met this guy, let's call him Bob. Bob is this big huge buff all American jock guy. Pretty good-looking though a little slow sometimes. Well we became friends a few months ago after we started working out together and since then we've become pretty much best friends. Though after a while I started to notice a few “gay"tendencies here and there and I guess others did too because everyone at work quickly began to assume/ask were we going out. From what I know and he's said, he's completely straight. He brings up girls quite often and I know one personally that he dated for a bit at work. That and he constantly asked me for advice up until recently with a girl he seemed to really like until she finally admitted she had no interest in him. But he does things like constantly hanging out, which of course means nothing, it turns out he talks about me a lot at work from what I've heard, and our conversations sometimes get a bit sexual. I tend to joke with him a lot about his size down under since he's just about average and the last talk went from him bringing it up to me visibly seeing he was a little crushed when I told him I like big ones =P We recently went to Pride together as well and after he watched me make out with an insanely hot guy there (and even took pictures) he told me the next day he even had dreams about me kissing the guy. So based on this what do you guys think? Would you say he's gay/bi-curious? I'm really only interested since I went through the whole coming out ordeal already and I figured if he is I know it'd help to have a friend he'd feel safe talking to at some point about it. My boyfriend seems to think one day he's going to end up making a move towards me though I honestly have no idea on how to react.
I think he's a secure straight guy that's enjoying the benefits of your friendship and what you have to offer. Mannerisms aren't a reliable indicator of sexuality. Of course he'd be visibly crushed after you mocked his manhood, it'd be hard for a lot of men not to feel recoil. As for dreaming about the kiss, that doesn't mean anything and doesn't surprise me. It's probably the first time he'd been so close to it, he's probably sexually frustrated, and it's just random firing of the neurons during sleep. I dreamt about the pasta I ate yesterday, doesn't mean I want to ride an Italian. Honestly, I wouldn't worry about him coming onto you. At a real push I'd say he might, and this is ever so slight, as you for advice on hooking-up with a guy at some point.
It's a bit shady but I think he's a straight guy who is just comfortable hanging around you and is very supportive.
Normally I would think he's straight since I've seen this with a few others and the guy turns out to be straight but Bob normally isn't very accepting of gay guys and views most as people he refuses to associate with. There was another gay guy that worked with us for a bit yet Bob disliked him just because he was gay. The guy was a flamboyant type so that might have played a part. Though even at Pride he seemed sorta uncomfortable. Speaking of Pride he had me sit in his lap while we were there too whole eating. Not to mention staying up later until about 2 a.m. on another day and laying on his bed together during which he kept moving closer to me every time I inched away.
He might just want to find a trusting friend to figure things out with; personally if you are really uncomfortable with that and could never do it then at some point it would be good to tell him that since you don't want to lead him on too much. At the same point I would try and be emotionally supportive, since it's always good to try and have a friend who you can trust. Personally I'd just kind of edge the line and see if he goes though with it, or doesn't reject it immediately and then back off and see what happens. If he's really getting that close, ya'know; but if you don't feel comfortable getting that close to a guy for a bit then it might not be a good idea. A lot of people will try something once, that doesn't mean that it is they're ultimate decision of a whole lot of thought process goes into it.
No matter how many Bobs you meet, they're not representative of every straight guy. OK, so maybe these do indicate he's curious if you include the other stuff. The question I have though is why are you allowing it? He wasn't the only one awake at 2am on the bed, you were too.
I didn't really say anything about it because he seems like the type if I were to voice it before anything definite happened he'd immediately shut down and never own up to it. I'd rather he become comfortable with it now and just not have it succeed rather than possibly go the rest of his life pushing the feelings away.
