Hi. I really only became a member, to ask this. I don't even know if i can be considered part of the LGBTQ community, as I am a heterosexual biromantic. I'm hoping all of you know what that means. I was really confused for several years, thinking I was lesbian, and then bisexual. The thing is, I think I wanted to be. I wanted to be special. I wanted to be different. I didn't want to be the typical straight white girl. But I kept questioning, thinking that if I had felt like this as long as I had, there's no way I could just be forcing these feelings. So I kept questioning. Looked on the internet, looked for people like me. And I finally found what I was looking for. On Tumblr, of all the places. Everything just clicked. I finally had a label. Nothing had really changed but yet, everything had. I saw people posting about how they liked men sexually, but both men and women romantically. It fit me perfectly. I researched it, and found that there's not a lot about romantic orientation on the internet. And I am very interested in that, I'd like to get into Gender Studies in Psychology. Not the point. Point is, I haven't told anyone. And I don't know if it's even necessary. I am straight, at least mostly, and it seems unlikely that I will ever date a girl, or at least not when I'm still living with my parents. I still want to come out. I just feel like maybe it's stupid, and no one will care. I know my parents will be totally fine with it, but I just don't want to tell them. But I really would like to tell my best friend. We talk every day, even though I moved away from her a couple years ago. That sucked, and I really do love her to death. But I know that she doesn't necessarily like "what gays do" as she puts it, but she has gay friends and is still fine with it. And I'm not gay...but she thinks that you choose to like either men or women. and I just don't want her to think I chose this, because I didn't. And yet, I still have my doubts about how I kind of forced feelings for women when I was questioning, so I start to think I did choose this. But then I think that I really don't think I can force these feelings I'm having. *sigh* It's a little confusing. Back to the point. I don't even know how to bring it up, or how to tell her, or if I even should tell her, because I don't want her to think it's stupid, or it doesn't really matter, because it does matter. To me at least. Anyways. my thoughts were a little scattered here, so if you took the time to read all that, I greatly appreciate it. Thanks! :icon_bigg
Coming out is an entirely personal endeavour. You should not let anyone else tell you whether you do or do not need to come out.
If you want to come out, by all means do. To me the important thing about coming out is that it gives you the freedom to live an authentic life. If you find being in then closet is keeping you from having and doing what you want in life then you need to figure out how to come out, whether you want to or not. So given what you've said I don't think it's something you need to do now, or anytime soon . Give yourself more time to sort through how you're feeling and come to a deeper level of self understanding and acceptance. (*hug*)
Sometimes I think I need to let people know that I'm not straight. Other times I feel like its really no one's business. That's why I ask myself is it necessary? Deep down I know I need to let people know. We'll, at least my family.
I know this isn't your question, but… You actually just sort of described me. My situation is: I'm a fairly wealthy (well, my parents) suburban white-picket-fence caucasian male with a younger brother and sister. I'm about as diverse as a saltine cracker. And at school, I don't feel good about this, because I have certain friends, my best friend in particular, who are like clones of me, except improved: me 2.0. My best friend is smarter, WAY better-looking, more athletic, better at music, and more personable. We share literally every characteristic but he beats me at every one. But he's a definite womanizer and is straight as can be. So I feel like I need to have something different. My parents are very homophobic, yes. But I've always felt I'll just cut off contact with them when I go to grad school, which is actually affordable on a part-time salary. Now, luckily(?) for me, I actually am gay, so…
No problem, I really just wanted feedback on the whole thing, maybe see if there were others like me. Yeah, I understand. I definitely think that part of the problem for me was that I never really felt like I was good at anything. I never had any hobbies and I never really played sports. Everybody else had something. You'd walk down the school hall and say, "Oh, that girls a really great artist" or "that guy can sing". I never felt like there was anything that made me stand out, I was just kind of there. I still sort of feel like that, but I think I've kind accepted the fact that you can be different and not be gay, or bisexual. And it took me a while to really accept that. But I am biromatic, I've also accepted that, I think. Thanks for the reply.
