Would this be a good letter to use for coming out to my dad? Saying it verbally would be rather awkward and the flows of conversation wouldn't let me say everything. Uh...... I'm fairly certain that I am gay............ Awkward moment of silence after that being broken, here is why. And, so that you know, any time this year I was talking about a crush and referring to them as female, they were male......... And **** ******* was kinda mostly because she asked me out and I didn't really know back then. 1. I had a crush on a boy when I was in kindergarten. 2. I have suspected my homosexuality since I was about 7 or so, at which point I was rather confused on the matter. 3. I was near certain on me being bisexual when I was about 10 or so. Most gay guys have a 'phase' of bisexuality, where they begin realizing that they are attracted to guys, but have not realized that they are not attracted to females. Similarly there are a good portion who either know they are gay right away, or do the opposite and have an 'phase' of asexuality as they come to know that they are not attracted to girls, but have not yet figured out they are attracted to guys. 4. As of around the early 11's was wavering on being bisexual and being gay, as I was only getting crushes on guys but still felt romantic about a few girls without actually being attracted to them, as I am to some of the guys in my class. 5. After further research on my predicament, I discovered romantic sexuality, which is often very separate from normal sexuality. It is most commonly the asexual trademark, as they can still be romantically attracted. However it is not uncommon for a person to have divergent normal sexualities and romantic sexualities, though it is most prominent in those who already have an oddity in there sexuality. I concluded that I was a biromantic homosexual a bit before my 13th birthday. Biromantic Homosexuality means that I am a guy that is romantically attracted to boys and girls, but only, uh, attracted attracted to boys. 6. I am afraid that, after extensive research on the topic, there is absolutely no possible way to change ones sexual orientation. Sexuality changes only occur very rarely, mostly in bisexuals, bisexual bisexuals, that undergo intense mental damage, such as being struck by lighting or having a near-death severity seizure. Thusly, I will always be a homosexual, Like always always. 7. I recommend, If you have any trouble processing this, google support for parents of gay's. I recommend ignoring anything involving god, as most of those involve using outdated passages of 'The Good Book', most of which are because of the association of homosexuality and prostitution during the time period it was written. I know a bit of it is misleading, like the phases, but I think that would let him process it better. Any helpful modifications?
Hi Bobby, Don't want to ignore your thread. It's hard to answer without knowing more of what your dad is like and how your relationship is with him. Chances are he's going to want to follow this up with a face to face chat. Are your ready for that? You do give him a lot of important information and you seem to have a good level of self-acceptance. I have one suggestion. I recently came out to my kids, 17 & 20, face to face. I just wanted to tell them very basic facts and wait for their questions. So maybe less is more. Maybe something a bit simpler and briefer. You are a very courageous young man; I wish you well with this. I hope you have some support with someone you can trust in your life.
I think you might be over complicating it. It's like you're trying to prove your sexuality to him, you aren't on trial. I suggest something simpler and more heartfelt, i.e.:
I agree pretty much with Arturoenrico. Coming out to your Dad through a letter is fine. However, it's hard to give support since you didn't mention much about your Dad. Do you believe he will be supportive? Do you have other people who already know and are giving you emotional support? How will you feel if he doesn't take it well? How will you feel if he wants to sit down with you and talk about it? My personal preference here would be to not overload him with information. I understand why you want to tell him about the process you went through, but I'd take a different approach. Instead, I'd focus on telling him that you're gay, and shifting my focus on telling him how you've dealt with things emotionally. I'd focus much more on emotion, and your fears and concerns about how it'll impact your relationship with him. The other stuff really isn't that important unless he asks. That's just my opinion though, and ultimately I feel that you should come out in whatever way makes you most comfortable, and if you feel the process *NEEDS* to be included - then I'd keep it in there. ---------- Post added 14th Jun 2013 at 10:45 PM ---------- I just wanted to echo what Femmeme wrote as well. That was the way I interpreted the letter, also. It sounded like you were trying to prove your sexuality to him, although I think your intent was to try and get him to understand the process you went through to get to where you ended up.
some of it is a little confusing to me. i'd take out the 5 and 6 sections because its complicated and your dad's brain is probably gona be overloaded from the I'm gay part at the beginning
This was mostly because I wanted the thread to stay in new posts I suppose my making a thread on the topic was rather obtuse, as I was really rather set on it anyways. The whole letter part is mostly so that I can get out all I need to say without the fact that he is staring into space mumbling or having fainted or something else preventing me from getting all the information I wish to out. I suppose, however, that it is rather longwinded, hadn't thought about brain overload at that point, so I suppose I can cut out the fifth and sixth sections. And the reason it feels like I am trying to prove itto him is because of the factor of my age. I cannot masturbate yet, so he is going to need a little explanation on the whole I'm gay thing, rather than lolipops,rainbows, and gumdrops. Thank you all for advice. And I have not 'known and struggled' I have known and felt like singing broadway songs at the top of my lungs. And I think I would be ready for a face to face chat afterwards, I just need letter format to get it all out without the fact that I am gay killing the conversation. Changes. Killing the sixth and fifth section.
