Both my parents are total homophobes. They routinely stop gay people on the street and tell them to stop being gay, they say gay people on TV should kill themselves, they grounded me for watching Neil Patrick Harris on TV, etc. Given this situation, would it be wise for me to just cut off all contact with them once I'm financially independent? I know it sounds ungrateful, but I can't think of another option…and if I tell them I'm gay, they will find me and ruin my life.
No. You should never cut off relations with your parents, ever. You will never know when you will need each other. Some people never know their parents and feel incredibly envious of those that do. Perhaps less contact, but not too remote. For the meantime you may be surprised how people's opinions change when it is about their own family.
You may be surprised. One of my closest friends would always make comments about how uncomfortable lesbian couples made her feel (before I came out to her), and showed a strong disliking towards the idea of two women in love. But whenever I told her about my sexuality and also my relationship status with a girl, she completely changed her beliefs and is now extremely supportive and quite proud of having a gay best friend I believe. A similar story happened with a cousin of mine. People typically change their ideas of things once someone they love is involved. Your parents may never accept your sexuality, but that doesn't mean they'll want to throw away any type of relationship with you. If things turn for the worst, then at least you tried and you won't have to wake up every morning wondering what could have happened if you came out. Besides, I think they'd be more persistent in "finding you" if you vanished out of thin air. It might not be too bad. And if you're planning to wait until you're financial independent anyways, you'll know you have your own security blanket to fall back on and won't have to worry about how drastic your life could change. But in the end, you know your parents better than anyone.
I would tell them, and see what there reaction is, I bet they will change their opinion if they have a gay son, it might take time though. In the end you need to do whats best for you, if they don't take it well, and you feel cutting them off is the best option (which I really don't think it is) then do it.
