So, Im in a tough spot right now. Ive realized over the past year that Ive been trying to hide and push down who I am. Ive never felt happy being me. The thought has gone through my head that Im gay for years now, but I think because of my family and friends, I hid it and blew it off as nothing, maybe me being kinky, bi at best, idk. But I recently met this guy at work... Hes great. Hes sweet, funny, and so much like me... I started crushing on him before I even knew he was gay. Hes the second guy Ive ever truly had a crush on (or let myself have a crush on), and I found out today that hes into me as well... Hes been talking to me about everything, trying to help me get my mind straight and stop worrying about what people will think, but to be quite frank, and not to sound like a weenie, but Im a bit scared. I worry that Ill be rejected by my family and friends and suddenly be alone and struggling to find myself. I dont want that. What makes it worse, is that Im dating a wonderful, beautiful girl. This woman has made me happy for years. Shes sweet, loving, and the best friend Ive had in my life. I was content on marrying her, even with my conflicting feelings inside, but suddenly things feel like theyve changed... I mean, they have. The other day, we were walking down the street and I started thinking about this guy (almost wrote his name, idk if hes on this site) and all these thoughts started going through my head, and suddenly it was as if a wave of thoughts crashed down onto the rocky beach that is my mind, and two words went through my head "Im gay." And immediately, I (a guy whos been depressed on and off since he hit puberty) felt this happiness that Ive never felt before. Like I was suddenly strutting down the street. It felt amazing to admit to myself. But I dont know what to do. If I lost my friends and family, would it be worth it?? And this sweet, sweet girl... Im all she has. If I break her heart she'll never forgive me and I dont know if I'd forgive myself. I love her, truly, despite everything. We're about to hit our anniversary.. And this guy, I wouldnt want to hurt him either... I have no idea what to do. I dont really know what I expect to get from posting this. I just need help. Im stressing out so hard, I feel like my head is spinning and my hearts about to burst. Any advice, any stories, anything would be helpful. I do want to add, the girl Im with thought she could be gay at one point and left me because of it, but she came back and we've been together since. Shes told me she loves me and would rather just stay with me, because shes still attracted to me even though shes attracted to women... I dont know why Im even adding this. Again, all input would help. I feel like im going to burst.
you have to do what you feel is right. if you aren't happy, and dating this guy will make you happy, you have to decide if it's worth breaking up with her. you guys sound like really good friends, so i think you should just tell her that how you know you are gay. don't mention breaking up, just tell her about your feelings, and she will probably understand, being that she is gay herself. i really think your happiness should come first. if you are miserable right now, i really think that you will feel so much better if you break up with your girlfriend (but still remain friends), and see where things go with the guy at work. but again, you have to do what you feel is right.
Hi there! I just read your story and my advice (remember that this is my personal opinion and that I'm only 18, so i'm still young and might not be as mature) is that you shouldn't stay in a relationship with this girl. From what you wrote, it seems like you do not have sexual feelings for her. And even though she is a really great person who is able to make you happy, it is not going to work out in the end. You will not end up being happy, and she will not end up being happy. She might be hurt now if you tell her the truth, but i think that's better than 'forcing the relationship' and ending up being hurt later in life. I've read too many stories about a wife finding out that her husband is gay 20 years after their marriage, it hurts both sides. Tell her now, and befriend with her if you can. She should understand. About your family (and friends). Are you financially independent? Do you need your parents' support still? And most importantly, are you sure that they will 'reject' you? If they are truly your family, they won't care. It might take time for them to adjust to the idea, but if they truly love you, then..they will love you and embrace you no matter what. On the other hand, if they reject you then (and this might sound harsh) they are not worth it. Your girlfriend deserves to be happy. YOU deserve to be happy. Lying will end up hurting both of you. That's just my opinion. Good luck!
