I came out to my Father on Father's Day

I came out to my father on Father's Day evening after struggling to come to terms with being gay for about 20 years. I didn't understand that I was struggling with it in all of the years before that. I suspect that he doesn't really accept it in his heart, but it sounded like he was feigning understanding it. I don't actually believe that he understands it or wants to because I'm highly suspicious that he's struggled with the same thing, too, and never wanted to embrace it. Who embraced it from those generations? - not very many....but it created lots of lies...and we all struggled to carry those lies with us...perhaps lied to others in the same way. I so deeply regret that!!
I know that I can't take my life back. I know that. Perhaps the bitterness and pain will abate after a while...it usually does...but I've lost an awful lot of my life to this struggle. I suppose that I could say that I understand my father probably much more integrally than my other siblings (no criticism of them intended). He mentioned that he had experienced some feelings like that but that, "he was much more drawn to women". I wonder how many of us there are whose parents simply could not embrace themselves in those years. What a tragedy has occurred for people of these past generations! We have to be grateful for all who have gone before us in recent modern times and worked and suffered to make it possible for those of us with this deeply embedded struggle to resolve it and move toward our own wholeness. God be with us all...