Coming out letter to parents

So i think ive decided to come out as trans* to my parents soon. Im not sure when but sometime fairly soon. I have been very against telling my parents for a while but recently ive been coming around to the idea. when I told them i was a lesbian i made the huge mistake of telling my mom first and then not being able to tell my dad for another month so i decided to write a letter to both of them. That why I could get everything i needed to tell them out in the open and be able to tell them both at the same time. Its a bit long but here it goes:

Dear Mom and Dad,

As im sure you have noticed ive been having a pretty rough time of it lately. To you it might have only showed in my grades but its been a lot more than that and the last few years have been really hard on me. Im only now figuring out why. I know this is hard for you to hear, I know this isn’t the life that you wanted for me, but the fact of the matter is that im transgender. I don’t identify as fully male, but as Androgynous, which means both male and female gendered. I lean more towards the male side of the spectrum though. I know that it might not be what you believe but ive come to realize that gender is a spectrum just as sexuality is, there are all types of gender expressions and identities and mine is only one. There are people who identify as fully male or fully female and others who identify as a blend of both, some switch from day to day, and some don’t see themselves as having a gender at all. There are plenty of websites and resources out there that will probably do a better job of explaining and plenty of them are for parents. Also something to clarify, gender identity is what gender you feel you are inside while physical gender is the gender you were assigned at birth. If they match, then you are cisgendered, if they don’t then you are transgendered*.

I know that this cant be easy, to you ive always been your little girl. But that fact is that im not you little girl and I never really was; im your child and whatever gender I am, whoever I choose to love, however I choose to live my life I will always be your child and I will always love you. I can only hope that you don’t blame yourself for this, ive come to see as parents how badly you want to make my life easier and take away any pain I might be feeling but this realization and starting to figure this out is slowly taking away that pain. Starting to live my life as the true me is the best thing that I could be doing for myself and remaining hidden would only cause me more pain. I truly hope that in time you can except me for who I am, you have always been there for me and I cant thank you enough.

I am still planning on keeping my name and continuing to go by Andie, though I do want to start using male pronouns, aka he/his/him as I identify more strongly as male. I also want to go through at least some methods of transitioning. Its not like what they show in the movies, the radically different person getting wheeled into the house with a new face and a new voice: I will still be me, just the real me I am on the inside. I may look different but I will still be the same person. I will still be the person who makes rediculous jokes and laughs with you untill we cry, I will still be the person who loves to cook dinner with you, the person who loves to go on wild adventures, go rock climbing, and who loves make art; I will still be the same person that you raised.

To clarify transitioning, I hope to have top surgery done and possibly start taking hormones. Hormones is a maybe though as I know they have some serious side effects and im not sure if there worth it to me. Part of the reason that I am telling you this is so I can be as open as possible with you, I hate lying to you, but also that I want to start transitioning soon. Looking in the mirror is a daily struggle for me because I don’t see me, and I never have. I honestly cant describe the mental pain that not being seen as the real me and not seing that person, that man, in the mirror causes me. The longer I have to deal with this the worse it will be. I know that it would be horribly unfair to you to not have told you and start that process without giving you time to come to terms with it. One thing that I cant stress enough is that it is not your fault, this isn’t anything you did wrong or anything you can change, its just who I am. I hope you know that I love you both so much even though I don’t say it often. Thank you for being the best parents in the world.

Your loving child,
Andie


Any thoughts? Tips? Even grammer advice would be great, im terrible at it and my mom is a total stickler so having it all correct would go over better

 

Im not feminie acting at all, never have been. I do enjoy some "feminine" stereotyped activities like cooking, sewing, making jewlery ect. I have been known to where some low cut shirts but nothing revealing and never liked them. Other than that, the only time ive had long hair since 4th grade was when I had dreadlocks in highschool. I bind on a regular basis and the only things that i havnt done transitioning wise is medical transitioning. Im out to my friends at school and use male pronouns there. Im still working through that stuff and coming out to other people so medical transitioning is still a bit in the future but the next step at this point. I have been trying to train my voice with limited success, my mom thought i had a cold when i cald them the other day :/. Im trying to take it slow but i might be spending some time back home soon and the only way that im going to be comfertable there is if i tell them. Thanks for the advice