Hey everybody, There is this guy who has been hanging out with my group of friends more and more recently. We are all 22 just graduated college. I am new to actually pursuing guys, have been deep in the closet, still only out to two people as bisexual. He's a shy guy, and my gut is telling me that he is into me and I am hoping that it isn't just wishful thinking on my part. I was hoping some of you had some similar stories in your past that might clear things up for me. It is a little tougher to tell also because the both of us could not be further from the stereotype of a gay man (however I am starting to realize majority of gay men don't fit the stereotype). Now I know the solution: tell him about my sexuality and find out from there. I would just like to get some other opinions before I take such a big step so it seems like less of a risk to me. Here are things that I have noticed he does, that none of my other straight guy friends do: 1. I always catch him staring with a blank stare, even when we aren't talking. I make eye contact and sometimes we hold it for quite a while and other times he will look away quickly (or I will). But either way this happens frequently every time we get together. 2. He always sits next to me. At first I thought this might be me trying to get close to him but then I started to make an effort to sit down first, and sure enough, even when there are many other open spots, he sits next to me. One time when somebody stole his seat next to me when he went to the bathroom, he got upset and went, "Oh I see how it is!" jokingly. Even when we were the only two in the room, he picked the closest seat to me. 3. He has never had a girlfriend, although this could just be because he is shy. I had my one friend, who knows about my sexuality, be my wingman and start to bring up "isn't this girl really hot" or "How would you guys pick this girl up at the gym", typical guy questions. He was the only one who wouldn't answer. I never heard him talk about girls before. 4. Our friends joke around and call us out for seeming gay. Every time we end up talking for an hour or so and we kind of get separated from the rest of the group. My one friend, who is the one who knows I am bisexual, says that while he can't tell, he could definitely see this guy being gay/bi. He also says that I am clearly this guys favorite. Are these not big enough clues? Is it wishful thinking? I just want to really be cautious before doing this. Any advice of other things I could drop into conversation or do before coming out to him would be fantastic! Thanks for whoever reads this whole thing.
There really is only one way, and that is to get him to where you can have a private conversation and ask him if he dates guys. Use these exact words (Do you date guys?) and you get to kill three birds with one stone (you are coming out to him, you would like to know if he dates guys and you are showing that you are interested in him-not that he's gay or anything, you understand). Better to ask this question first before saying anything else (after a suitable pause for dramatic effect while looking at him seriously), preambles just add to the tension and confusion.
