I want to come out to my teammates, but I'm afraid to make them feel awkward

Well, to be perfectly honest, there is no way you can come out that will ensure that they are perfectly comfortable. They are either going to be fine with it or they're not. This is true when you come out to anyone. They're going to feel the way they're going to feel, and you don't really have a lot of control over that.

What you do have control over is how you feel about it. So, how would you feel if they became uncomfortable or were unsupportive? Would this bother you? What if they told other people, would this bother you?

Those are some questions that you should ask yourself. If you're more concerned about how they feel or the fact they'd tell others, and you wouldn't care if they didn't like the fact that you were a lesbian - then my advice is to go for it. Don't worry about how they feel, just do it, and then let them work out their own feelings on the matter.

However, if you would feel upset if they weren't supportive or became uncomfortable, then we can talk about how to deal with that issue.

 

What the guy above me said. It depends on what you're afraid of. You can't control how they'll feel about this situation, but usually everything will work itself out.


May I ask you this in response....have your teammates given any suspicion towards your sexuality? Don't you think they'd know already?

 

It's unfortunately true.

We can't wave a magic wand to change other people. You can change their opinions by coming out and living your life. Evidence shows that people who hold negative views of LGBT people begin adopting more positive views once they know someone who is LGBT. So, in this way, if any of them react negatively you at least have the opportunity to change their minds.

However, if they do react negatively, it's important to not take ownership of their feelings. What they're feeling has nothing to do with you. You're just trying to live your life openly and honestly. If they have a problem with that then it's clearly their problem. You're not obligated to change who you are to make them feel more comfortable.

And of course if things don't go well it's important to share it with people who you know, trust, and can offer support and comfort. Of course those of us on EC will support you, but it's also important to have someone nearby who you can physically interact with who can give support.

(*hug*)

 

I'm in cross country and track too! And I'm trying to come out to them this fall too. Except now, I'm in college and I made it through all 4 years of HS and 1 year of college. Actually, that's a lie - I went that long without telling everyone. I still told some people. I think it might do you good to pick the person on the team you're closest with and confide in them. If it doesn't go well, you won't have your whole team against you, and if it does, you'll get the courage to tell more people. Since it's someone you trust, chances are it'll go well.

Let us know how it goes and good luck!

 

If you do come out to them I can guarantee you that not everyone is going to hate you or think you are weird, someone will still be there for you. So no matter what you will have back up.

 

It's so hard to judge whether it will be awkward or not cause I've heard such polarizing reactions when it comes to disclosing an LGB orientation to sports teammates; anything from complete rejection and ostracizing to overwhelming acceptance. You'd really have to get a good sense of how they'd react before you tell them, I think.

 

Don't mean to be stereotypical but I doubt your female athletics team only has on lesbian...... just saying.

Would a gay guy be afraid to tell people in his fashion class he was gay, most likely not because unfortunately some stereotypes are true and there are most likely other homos in that class.

Not all lesbians like sports, but lesbians tend to enjoy sports more than heterosexual women on a per capita basis. The only girls that played hockey in my league are lesbians, the only girl thaat played hockey in my brothers league was a lesbian.

My straight female friend's hockey, field hockey, soccer and rugby teams all had lesbians on them.

My friend's girlfriend's field hockey team has lesbians on it.

I have yet to encounter a fully female sports team with no lesbians in it.


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To be even more stereotypical females are generally more accepting of homosexuality than males, it seems lesbians don't threaten heterosexual women as much as "fags" do heterosexual men.

So from my experience you have no reason not to tell them.