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is this bad? =\

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Evanfan, Apr 26, 2008.

  1. Evanfan

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    ok well... for a long time i've been coming to the conclusion that i might be bi.. btu i'm a bit more into guys than girls... and i do like guys my age.. some.. but.. uhh.. i like older guys more :confused: i dont know why.. i've liek wished i had liek this huge adventure with some older guy or something lol.. umm.. (ayes i'm weird i know) but idk if thats bad or something.. i mean.. i dont think its ever gonna happen...... =\

    can enyone tell me what i should do? pleeeeease :help:

    i dont need to know what i am.. i want to know what to do.. if.. i like older guys more than i like.. well guys my age... what do i do about that... i'm not really gay.. cuz well i still liek girls and stuff.. i am bisexual.. well at least thats what i thinik but thats not what i need help with =(
     
    #1 Evanfan, Apr 26, 2008
    Last edited: Apr 26, 2008
  2. total mo

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    you like guys more, so i think that means you're on the road to becoming gay. while you are still in the phase of unsureness, i think you will be safe with bisexual. when you get comfortable, you may already want to go gay.
     
  3. Brandford

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    ur bi and its perfectly normal to like older guys, lots of gay/bi guys do
     
  4. Brandford

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    the definition of homosexual is only being attracted to males and the definition of bi is being attracted to both genders (srry i dont like when people say being bi is a phase)

    and he wasnt asking about that
     
    #4 Brandford, Apr 26, 2008
    Last edited: Apr 26, 2008
  5. I agree,bisexuals aren't confused but they confusing to others, and its fine to like people of an age that doesn't match yours.
     
  6. Evanfan

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    so what am i to do? i mean.. no.. 16 or 17 year old is gonna liek a 13 year old... >_<
     
  7. Brandford

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    lol ud be surprised, but its probably be best to stick to your own age till u do find someone who is 16 or 17, but 17 year olds turn into 18 and it would be illegal for them to date u so i suggest 16 or younger
     
    #7 Brandford, Apr 26, 2008
    Last edited: Apr 26, 2008
  8. Evanfan

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    well.. i know that but... there's no point in just wishing.. since.. really no 16 yr old is gonna lik a 13 yr old.. trust me..
     
  9. I don't know you personally, but i know some people who are deffinately interested in 13-15 year olds. But be careful!
    Besides if you make yourself known and avaible then guys will come to you.
     
  10. Brandford

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  11. Evanfan

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    well how would i do that?
     
  12. joeyconnick

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    Oh my gosh... sorry I have to laugh, not at you but at myself; I didn't look at your age when I was reading your post so when you said you were into "older" guys I assumed you meant like 30/40/50yos. I forgot that "older" is a relative term.

    Anyway, I think it's totally normal at 13 to be interested in guys who are 16/17... even people who are 1 year older when we're kids or teens seem much more worldly and exciting than people our own age. The thing is, in most places even if you found someone that age who you were into and who was into you, the older person would likely be breaking the law by doing anything sexual with you. And... at 13 you are pretty vulnerable with respect to people who are older because they're often bigger, stronger, and have more resources. So you're at a disadvantage in that respect.

    Not, of course, that 13 and 14yo girls don't date guys who are 16/17 all the time... but that doesn't mean it's the wisest choice to make.

    I think it's possible you could find someone around the age you're looking at who might be interested in you--but even if you did, that's not necessarily the best path for you. The whole relationship thing is pretty tricky even when you're an adult; when you're 13, you have all those disadvantages mentioned above and people aren't usually inclined to take you very seriously. I'm not saying that's fair but it's pretty generally true. There's a huge gap in how society treats people at 16/17 and at 13 and that gap puts you at a disadvantage and could (won't necessarily but could) put you in danger.

    As for what to do? Well about the most sensible thing you can do is probably wait... and I know how unappealing it is to be told you should wait "until you're older" when you're 13. But seriously, time has this way of being weird and speeding up and it's quite possible you'll be 14, 15, 16 before you really know it. Waiting gives you the opportunity to get more comfortable with who you're attracted to and it'll narrow the gap between you and 16/17yos.

    I understand how nice the thought of having someone in your life can be; it definitely helps make people feel less lonely. It's just that the younger you are, the more dating/being with someone can complicate your life.
     
  13. Evanfan

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    lol imagine if i liked 40 yr olds.. that b gross lol no offence.. but yeah i dont go that far.. lol
     
  14. Wired106

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    lol dude i was EXACTLY the same as you when i was your age. BUT i didnt except it and thought it was a phase. then i thought i might be bi but i didnt fully except being gay until around age 16. it was hard for me to think about tht lol. i thought id be able to marry a girl and have a family and just live this lie lol so my parents would nvr find out but stuff changes and you begin adjust and come to your senses. But anyways if you like older guys i don't think its a huge problem because i have a lot of guys that are friends of mine that are in college and if they were gay i probably wouldnt do ne thing with them but thats just me but im sure a lot of people would. you'll probably have opportunities arise in the future where there will be older guys that want to hang out with you and do w/e. It's fine though. :icon_wink
     
  15. Psychedelic Bookmarks

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    I think people often find older people attractive. It's just something you have to put up with until your age and their's even out. Then you'll find that 13 year olds fancy you! :wink:
     
  16. Zak

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    Hm.....well, liking older guys is normal...lol lkke 14-20. lol....umm......atm, in your position, i would stick to a 14 or 15 yr old at most. lol im 13 and in 8th grade. anywayz, back on topic, well how to ge them to co,me onto you. Well, first you can be out...but your not so, that one si crossed out. Let certain ppl like kinda know your gay, by making eye contact with them a lot. idk, im horrible at advice. hope it was helpful. GL :thumbsup:
     
  17. Quitex

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    I will agree with this: Time flies.
    I remember when I was 15... watching those programs for teens where they talk about stuff, put music vids, etc.etc. they had like a segment where you gave your telephone number for obvius one night-stands (at that time, I was inside the closet even for myself, denial+++) which I just didn't cared: I wanted to be with a guy. I was 15 and all the guys that called were 17 and up looking for... you've guessed it! guys from 17 and up (if there was any brave gay guy that sent a message).

    I was so in denial, that I wrote down all the telephone mubers of the guys that showed on the screen... but was so afraid they'd find me unpleasant, ugly and "too young" (I am still ugly :frowning2: ) that I didn't called anyone. Instead a 15 y-o GIRL sent a message and I took the guts to call her. We started talking on the phone a LOT and she lived around one hour from my home. Never visited her. well, for making a long story short, I ended with a girl in love with me, and dreaming of gay guys and I dreamt with one THAT much I didn't even cared about my virginity or a one-night stand. And I never called one, and I never had a one-night stand. I think what I felt was lonelyness and insecrity about myself, and even though I still do, I won't risk my life and give away my virginity to a random guy in a one-night stand.

    Ok, back on topic: Don't fall for a 17 y-o that wants a one-night stand or that want just to be 'fuck buddies'. I know some of you poeple do have them, but *couhgs* IMO they are not a good place to start. Does your school is accepting/open-minded? Do you know any GSA on your school, or... do people even know you're out? I guess the first step for knowing people and .... guys :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: is to come out of the shell... or should I say closet?

    Gosh, I should be following my own advice >.>
    And, when you turn 17, you'll want 23 y-o guys. And when you turn 23, you'll want 27 y-o guys. and when you turn 33, you'll wish you're 17 again.