Advice for getting over a straight crush

I can't say I have much experience, but how about distancing yourself from him... just a bit, I guess the perfect situation would be for you to find someone that you could be in a relationship with and then, re-discover your friend, as just a friend, you could even clear the air by telling him how you once had a crush on him... I guess it would be a lot less threatening than telling him you currently have a crush on him.


Just a few thoughts.

 

Well I'm not the best person to advise on getting over crushes either.

There's this guy at work who is definitely straight, way too young for me, and I have a partner, but....... It's not a strong crush like I had a couple of time when I was younger, but he's good looking and a great guy.

My biggest crush was when I was about 17, and still deeply in the closet (I knew but was desperately trying to deny it). He was about 15 or 16 and I saw him at the railway station once a week when I was going to college and he was gong to school. He was with his mates. I didn't know his name, we never spoke, and I doubt he even noticed me. I noticed him though, and wanted him badly.

As for getting over him. Well after several months he was no longer there (presumably he left school), and with not seeing him I gradually got over him.

You can't just not see him when he is in the same class, is a good mate and you see him every day though. So you can't use that approach.

Seeing him with a girl probably wouldn't help. You would just be jealous and upset, and probably feel betrayed by him, but you'd still fancy him.

So I don't know really. This has probably been no help at all, but anyway....

 

Kind of like my work colleague, who sits opposite me and I see every day. Apart from quitting the job, there is nothing I can do to have less to do with him.

 

hope you have luck with your new friend and the GLBT group.

 

sorry i dont know what to tell you... i mean normaly i have the BEST advice and if it were any other subject i could tell you... i mean i probably would know how 2 help you now but... part of me refuses to say it... nothing against you! i just... wellbasicly im so deep in love with my best friend that telling others how to get over someone when i cant get over this guy isjust well... hipoc... (you know the word i mean but i cant spell)


his name is jon and his last name starts with the same letter as mine so me and him sat by eachother in a class (come to find out we had 3 together and with block schedualing at my school thats alot) so we became close but that summer we went to the movies often and we talked online and gamed ALOT... and i admit... i crushed on him from when i first layed eyes on him... tall naturaly skinny and str8... well i later found out that summer he wasnt the str8est thing ever... (he slowly told me he use 2 jack off 2 guys n such come to find out later he did alot more and he lied alot to me) well we went to st louis together for fair st louis 4th of july thingy and when we got back he spent the night and well over that entire year i was deeply in love with him and we fooled around ALL the time like atleast twice a week... twice he tried the str8 thing... but he always stoped for me... then he would get g/fs and he wouldnt at 1st then he would cheat with me (i know bad but... i couldnt help it i was horny/in love) he joined the army and well now we use 2... well by use 2 i mean i would get him off all the time and i know he used me for it... i mean he even told me spring semester of 06 he use 2 come over just for a quick bj then leave... like a booty cal basicly... i dont know why but i cant get over him... iv told him i havent liked him for a very very long time but thats a lie... i cant separate from him (although now i pretty much wont have 2 he will from me... besides him avoiding me on his own he wants to be completely str8 now and go to church all the time and pray... trying to do it all so hes not bi anymore...) i know i shouldnt even bother with him anymore i mean i have NO chance AT ALL... i just choose 2 be stubborn...

iv gotten to the point were... i dont care about anyone and i mean like ANYONE... id be somewhat sad if like sertan people died but id be like meh the next day saying like well it happens... i dont care about family other then a finacial support and hes pretty much it... (corse living in the south lowers my options of guys i can go out with quite a bit... plus my type is hard to find)



Dont separate yourself from him... and DONT try to go out with someone thinking itl help you get over him because you will just end up hurting yourself... i guess try n your best way to turn your crush into just like best friendship love... iv heard time will help you but hell im going on 3 years lol oh well your prolly not as pathetic as me

Sorry i couldnt help more

 

I know how you feel, I was kinda dispointed when my friend whom I had a crush on turned out to be gay but then a week later this guy asked me out, so I got over it, funny how that works But, yeah go out and meet new people definatly!

 

well, im trying to get over a girl i liked and shes going out with a guy. of course im bi and i prefer girls more i think. but ive begun to noticed my friend, brandon. Its that now i love brandon and i dunno if he likes me. hes gay but im not attractive.... at all. im incredibly fat/overweight/obese and i have a few facial blemishes and im fat. he is so slim and sexy... but i dunno if he wants me. i love him and i cant get over the fact that i may be rejected.

well, heres an idea. occupy yourself with something else. thats the best thing i got. im sry

 

oh boy, i hate it when people tell me about this because there is one thing they should realise that the chances of someone of the same gender is gay is about 1:20.

just learn to accept that most people are gay and that things will just have to move on

 

Hey, wish I could help, but I'm stuck in a similar situation, so here's a hug instead. (*hug*) I have a crush on one of my close friends, and I'm not out to her yet either. It used to be much easier for me to be around her and talk to her, but lately I have to think a lot more about what I say and do around her :dry: it sucks. But if I magically figure out a way to deal with this I will let you know ASAP!

 

Well, I can give you two experiences of mine with straight guys that might encourage/scare you.

The first guy was my best friend in FL. We had been friends for about a year, worked together, hung out constantly, etc. Things were going fine and I was mustering up the courage to tell him... thats when SHE came around. He met some girl who said she was 18 but turned out to be 17 and they screwed in our room for about 12 hours. I was crushed and couldn't sleep and was jealous and pissed off all at the same time, for the whole 12 hours... Finally a few days later I couldn't take it any more and told him about how I really liked him and how I was bi. A LOT of shit went down, including him moving away and not getting an apartment with me... leaving me with no place to live... Even though I said it was fine that he didn't like me back he still couldn't handle it and ran away from his problems. I hate him with a passion now... But after about 3 months I got over it, still hating him of course, but much more passive now I have never felt so much pain in my entire life

That brings us to today... another straight best friend and an obsession that I just can't drop. I told him right away that I was Bisexual and he said thats cool and he'd let me know if he ever wanted to do something like that. A few months in I told him that I really like him and can't get over it, and he was flattered and that's about it. Well we've been friends for about a year now and I've been flirting with him from time to time, and reminding him that he has me in every which way if he so chooses. Honestly I don't know if it will develop into anything, but at least it gives me a reason to wake up in the morning. I am very optimistic though, and think he might be bisexual and is just nervous about sex since he's always had female partners in the past (his last one cheated all over him though). My tactic for dealing with this may be bad but I can't/don't want to change it. I'm just focusing on showing him how it would be if we were a couple by taking him out to dinner/movie, buying random presents, and letting him make the decision when/if he ever decides to "walk" with me.

fun stuff, sleepy time

 

Arg, I know how you feel. I have only recently gotten over a crush on a straight friend who I liked for, oh, nine months or so? I'm afraid I don't have much advice for you, though, as I have no idea how exactly I got over him. Give me a couple of months and I assure you I'll be in the same mess again -- the chances are high. *sighs*

Well, since I have no advice, I will just give you a big hug (*hugs*) and we can sit around and wallow in our unrequited love together.

 

i had a crush on my mate

i think everyone including her knew i had a soft spot for her, i'd do anything for her.

we were comfortable tho cos i never made a move and she was not at all gay

when i did get a girlfriend things changed cos i diverted my attention to someone who reciprocated.

find a diversion, even if its not mr ot mrs right, its mr or mrs right now and (im not saying slag it about) it may help you see past a crush which is going nowhere

 

hehe I'm sure he has something in mind now ^_^

 

hi; i've recently been through a similar situation where i have a crush on my friend. i think i was just coming to the terms with the fact that i love her when she moved to australia. i know that she is straight. she has a boyfriend and i know she loves him, he's the reason why she's moved to australia.

we used to work together (which is how we met) and i would find any excuse to talk to her, and i would give her a lift home whenever i had the chance. and we would usually have dinner together. i ended up changing departments so i didn't get to see her as much which made things slightly easier. then i left that place for my current job, which again made things a bit easier. then i found out she was moving abroad and i was gutted. we went out for a goodbye drink and she gave me a hug goodbye which was really nice. i cried driving back home and i was in a really bad state the next day.

then i found out when she was flying out, i tried to see her again but she wasn't in and wasn't answering her phone. but for some reason i actually feel at peace now. before my feelings would go up and down all the time. up when i saw her or spoke to her and down when i couldn't contact her. but now i just feel calm. i do miss her but i think i got all of the heartache out of the way before she left.

obviously if you're in the same class you can't get away from him. the only thing i can advice is try to find somebody else. you could join a GLBT club for friendship and then you could talk to someone about how you feel and find someone who might have had the same experiance. you might even find somebody you could have a relationship with.
sorry if this post is a bit long. i hope it helps.

 

I've been in a similar situation myself, over a girl.

Well, a couple of years ago, I met a girl, she was quiet, nice, athletic, and smart. She didn't stand out from the crowd or anything, she looked like an All-American girl, I'd guess you'd say.

She was the first girl I ever had a crush on. She is a year older than me, so she went to high school while I was still in middle school. I couldn't get over her, no matter how hard I tried. I couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, couldn't be motivated to do anything.

Now, I'm in high school. This girl sits next to me in one of my classes, we're friends, but not like best friends. Simply because I'm way too nervous when I'm around her.

After making several *BAD* decisions, she found out I liked her, it kinda freaked her out (but not a lot), so I apologized for my ignorance and buffonary. That's how I got over her. It was kind of forceful, but it's what happened.

As for other straight crushes, I just distract myself from them and try not to oogle them.

 

Well i don't have any good advice for you because I'm in a much worse situation. I ahev a crush on a guy I've been friends with since pre-school. In our school we only got 1 classroom per grade, so i spend the whole day with him! I haven't told him I'm gay,and I fear if i tell him I might destroy the friendship and that he might even tell everybody and ruin my life! It really sucks because I can't get over him and there isn't really anyone else i can distract myself with because this country is full of straight people... :S

 

1.) you can 'escape' from your crush. Quit school and find another one. Or don't see him all day long.

But there's a drawback to all of this: What happened if you find another of those straight crush after you escape??

2.) Deal with it. Positively of course. The whole thing is, he's IN your classroom/lecture-hall all day long. Well, no, not go after him or anything. Or not go around proposing to him. I mean, try to get something to do over there, like hitting the gym or pay more focus on other hobbies. I have to admit it sometimes crushes can be very inspiring.

 

I am also getting over a mad crush on my best friend who I'm with 24/7. It's been really hard because she's my go to when I'm sad but she's also the reason I'm sad. Also I don't feel comfortable talking about this to any of my friends. But here are some things that are helping me:

1. Limit bitter sweet moments (like snuggling, hugging and sweet sappy moments)
2. Schedule time away from them (including texting)
3. Socialize and talk to other people (I've started hanging out and opening up to other friends more)
4. Be alone but do something when you're alone (I like to read and take pictures but laying in bed makes me reminisce too much)
5. Excercise/ go outside (easier said than done but it helps!)
6. Hang out in groups more than one on one