I considered not writing about this because I'm not totally sure how I feel, I totally gave up on religion & this crap for good when I was in my teens. It's been about a decade since I've worried about the fate of my eternal soul, lol, but about a month ago I think I came out to my mom. Anyway I totally forgot about that, since she basically had ignored it, but she sent me a very long e-mail last week that boils down to she's convinced I'm going to burn in hell. It was super cryptic, humourless & completely serious, nothing I thought I'd get from her to be honest. She's obviously very bothered that I not only abandoned jesus, but I'm living in the worst sin imaginable (i.e the gay kind) with my partner. It was fairly melodramatic & if it were anyone else I could laugh it off (oh boy would I). The thing is I'm not scared of this made up fire & brimstone bullshit, but I feel terrible because she very firmly believes it. I'm stuck between wanting to comfort her & hating her for pulling this emotionally manipulative act on me (again). She makes it out like the only way to make her happy is to leave my partner, confess the last six years of sin, & become a priest or something lol. I don't know where to start finding a common ground with this catholic shit.
Catholicism is set up to STRONGLY encourage others to join the club. The way I see it, the powers that were waaay back in the day saw that they could make mad money if they played up the hell part and the rest is history. Isn't it true that one sin isn't greater/worse than any other, though? I mean, I don't have much ground to debate the will of God, but I don't think he'd punish us for expecting indisputable proof before believing something is true. Nor do I believe a loving God would look down on homosexuality. I mean, as a universe-transcending deity, why oh why would he care?
The very top of the Catholic church tows a line that homosexuality is wrong. Some of its churches are kind of hateful, but nothing like Westboro, or they'd be in the news. They don't want to be in the news. For other churches, it's a non issue and they just don't talk about it, like DADT. And a portion defies what the higher-ups want, and are welcoming to the GLBT community. But, yes, it is a guilt based system and doesn't like any behavior that doesn't reproduce the human race. Even when God created the very people they discriminate against.
I was raised Presbyterian, and I just always believed that teaching the fact that "hell was a horrible place, and we're gonna scare you about it" was wrong. One of my best friends is Catholic, however, and despite everything...he supports me 100% fully! Anyway...I think you should not hate God, but hate the organised religion aspect, understand? I think some church goers try to manipulate what "God" says and make it to their own likings. I think you should be spiritual, no doubt. I learned this when I was an infant: Jesus loves me this I know (despite being gay or straight) for the Bible tells me so
Oh god, yes. You could pay to absolve your sins or the sin of your dead family members in purgatory back in the day, lol. Hell is very scary and very real for catholics. That kind of "logic" (if you can call anything related to invisible sky-daddies logic) doesn't work on people who are devoutly catholic because the rules are all laid out very precisely in the catechism and the church's other interpretations of the bible. The Catholic church doesn't care about the human race, they care about making more catholics, hence condemning birth control lol. I'm not really trying to find a common ground with the church, I just want a way to console my mother who doesn't understand how manipulative and corrupt her religion is. That really doesn't have any bearing on her beliefs. My mom wouldn't think jesus loves you at all because you're in the wrong church. All church-goes manipulate what "God says" because they all think they're right/more right. Even if I somehow suffered some minor brain damage and went back to some form of vague theistic belief system, it still wouldn't help me with the fact that my mother "hopes she dies before me" (which is unlikely to her because she thinks I'll catch the aids and die next year anyway) so she doesn't have to know if I ever repented haha. :/