Last night I was talking to my "friend" in Skype and my mom walked in and noticed I changed the tabs really fast. Then today I accidentally left my email up..... So bottom line she found out....... She told me it doesn't matter to her and she still loves me. She told me she would rather me not be gay because she knows that it's a hard life. I feel like I want to throw up. I knew one day she would find out but I never thought she would find out like this. I don't know how to even look at her anymore. I know she accepts me but I feel like my world had been turned upside down. I know I've always been like this but she doesn't know that yet. I've been crying all day long.
I've never been in this situation before but ~sigh~ this is a toughie... first off all, please realize that she only wants what's best for you. Parents are there as models, people that have lived through it before, and sometimes as people that their children want to live differently than. What I would suggest is to sit her down one day. Just talk and discuss what has been going on all throughout your life. You mentioned that she would rather you not be gay because she know what a hard life it entails. I would also discuss what she was feeling when she found out. Ask her why she would rather you not be gay and then go from there. I would also be sure to mention to her that you have always been like this and that it's not her fault that you're this way. I wish I could offer more advice, but this is all I have.
When I came out to my Mom, she told me I made her want to kill herself. That was quite a few years ago now. I just had a 90 minute conversation with her. Both of us hate talking on the phone but we'll talk to each other for two hours. She's totally cool with it now, even though it was hard for her at first, and she had issues with it because of her religion too. It sounds to me like your Mom really cares about you and is just being a concerned Mom. I'm a Mom myself and quite frankly I'd have the same difficulty if one of my own kids came out to me, for the very same reason. Not because I don't accept them, because I certainly without question would, but because I know how difficult being an LGBT person can be and I would rather they be spared the same BS I've had to go through. Quite frankly, I'd be scared for them. Just my thoughts. Be glad it's out now and that she embraces you. Hug her and tell her you're gonna be OK.
