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Email: Coming Out...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Akatosh, Jun 25, 2013.

  1. Akatosh

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    I'm at a critical point in my life where I have a great job opportunity in a horrible location (just outside my homophobic hometown). I am grateful for having the chance to take the job, as it pays $70k+, and it would be my first "real" job; however, I am not excited that I will be living in the town that scarred me, in my parents' house. I currently have no money for an apartment, or anything, really.

    This brings me to where I am currently: debating on whether to take the job, or not. I currently live in a large city, which is a very gay friendly city, and I have been talking to a great guy that I can see myself starting my first relationship with. We are super compatible and we are both each other's type; our conversations have been great so far; we are at similar points in life; and we both want the same things out of life.

    Now, I'm not saying I want to stay in this city because of this one guy, but I am saying that this guy could be representative of any future relationship that may develop. The area around my hometown is several orders of magnitude smaller population-wise; there aren't many openly gay people (super religious). I won't have the support I need there...

    I am thinking of writing an email to my mom right now (currently, I'm packing up my house in my large city) and explaining to her my concerns, and most importantly, I need to come out to her finally. My dad will find out through her. He already knows but is in denial.

    What do I write? I guess I've written a lot of what I need to tell her. I think it's kinda crappy that I'm coming out through an email, but I don't have the courage to do it in person at the point in my life. Also, this way they can't interrupt me and tell me I don't know what I'm talking about. Has anyone done this? I'm about to type it soon because I have to pack up my belongings and get ready to move :frowning2: :frowning2: :frowning2: :frowning2: :frowning2: :frowning2: :frowning2:
     
  2. Mdp

    Mdp
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    Hey, I can't really tell you what to write, but I just wanted to offer you some support in saying, write what you feel you need to say. I recently (yesterday) had to do this and was in the same situation. I didn't know what to say, but I knew I needed to say something. Once you start writing, the right words will come out. Make sure your honest with her. I think its perfectly fine to share with her the worries your having and why you felt you needed to tell her. It's going to be scary, but I promise it will end up being worth it. Waiting will only make it harder and you can begin to move on to new steps in your life the sooner she (and your dad) know.

    Hope that's of some help! Try not to stress too much! There are a lot of people who are here for you
     
  3. Akatosh

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    I wrote the email shortly after posting this. Parents don't care; I turned down the job offer; I told my mom I met someone with great relationship potential and she told me she wants me to feel comfortable bringing any boyfriend home.

    From the words of George R. R. Martin:

    Bran thought about it. 'Can a man still be brave if he's afraid?'

    'That is the only time a man can be brave,' his father told him.