So here's the deali-o, I'm on vacation and one of the thoughts that consumed my mind on the plane ride up here and the first night is: Coming out to my mom. I want to do this so I don't have the "Well your wife isn't gonna [insert activity here] for you" card played against me anymore, that's pissing me off. Here's the catch, she is ultra-religious like she went to Catholic schools and even a Catholic University so she's not exactly okay with gay people. Her beliefs of the LGBT community wouldn't bother me that much, I can kind of deal with that, it wouldn't hold me back or anything. In fact, my brother asked her: "But you want grandchildren, right?" and she just replied "All I want is my kids to be happy." This was a couple years back. In fact, if I knew years ago, that would've been the perfect time to come out I so so so want to just sit her down one day (or do it in a letter) but there's another thing or rather two other things. One, my brain went to the worst-case scenario which is my mom wanting to kick me out and cut me off. I still need my parent's money for college though. So to get through that, I was thinking of just waiting until I graduate to come out to them and I get an apartment so if the worst-case scenario does happen, it does nothing. Second, both sets of my grandparents are both in critical condition and I don't want to put this on my parents to the point where they turn their attention to me instead of them (Knowing them, this will probably happen). I love both my parents and grandparents too much to have that happen. Maybe my brain is creating the worst possible situations and I'm letting fear control my actions but I really don't know what to do. HELP! BUT if I were to write a letter, I would probably work on it all summer then the hour before I go back to my college dorm, I would print it off then put it on my mom's night stand. OMG, and the letter can have a rainbow border and have rainbow lettering on the envelope.
Since you're afraid of finances, I'd agree about holding off coming out. Regarding coming out to parents because of your grandparents' health, I'll also agree it can be bad. My grandmother has Alzheimer's and will possibly die in a year or so. It's really been terrible on us and for that, I decided not to come out to my family until after she passes on (well, a few months after). I also realize that there will never be a "perfect" time to come out because everyone always has problems and issues going on at the same time. However, I am willing to act according to the situation and adapt (e.g. her prognosis improves and the doctors think she'll live for many more years). However, since four grandparents are ill, the resolution of their illnesses may be staggered to the point that it may be many years before you find the "perfect" window. For that, I can only suggest that you come out after you are somewhat financially independent and let the chips fall where they may regardless of your grandparents' situations. Just make sure you find a tactful moment. Of course, I myself always think of the worst possible situations and am a glass half empty kind of guy; so take my advice with a large grain of salt.
I would say if you honestly believe your parents may cut you off financially, you may want to give it some time. As for the grandparents, I completely understand where you're coming from. My advice would be though that there will never be a "perfect time", just as AlamoCity stated. You may not be able to wait until their health problems are over and it's okay for you to do it at a time when they are not in great health. Maybe you could get a part time job or something to save up some money just in case they would cut you off. You also can always take out student loans and pay off college once you have graduated. I would predict that your parents may go through a time of coming to accept that you are gay, but in the long run, your parents love you and I don't believe that will change. Good luck with everything and I hope your journey goes well!
