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Need help coming out

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Ethan132, Jun 27, 2013.

  1. Ethan132

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    I am 17 and am going into college in august. I feel pressured to tell my family that I'm bisexual before then but, I'm mortified of how it could affect our relationships. Both of my parents are fairly religious. When I came out as an atheist they took away my laptop and grounded me. They don't care anymore but, if that was their reaction to my religious beliefs then just imagine how they will react when they find out about my sexuality. The worst thing that could happen is my mind is that they find out "the hard way". I just don't know how to come to telling them. I feel like there is an easier way then just telling them but, I can't think of any. I feel like a coward for not being able to speak to anyone about it. It just eats me up inside and makes me really really depressed. If anyone has any kind words of personal advice, I'd be more then appreciative. This is a really hard time in my life I feel.
     
  2. Shadowsettler

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    I still haven't personally told my family. I took the 'scare-d-cat' way and just posted it up on facebook and waited for word to get around the family.

    Coming out is probably better for your mental health rather than keeping it a secret forever. Just to ease your mind a little, I have friends that are pretty religious, older women from the church up the road, and they're not homophobic in the slightest.

    People can surprise you, which is why I just planted the seed any way I could and waited for reactions to spring up. :slight_smile: If one day my family members decide to verbally slash me, then I won't be completely surprised.

    The only thing I can tell you is that you should talk to a trustworthy family member about it. You can be a judge of character with your own parents, I think. I know that my parents aren't really homophobic, just a touch ignorant, but not hostile ignorance. It's really hard to describe... :\ They never really had the boy/ girl talk with me (I always lied, all the time, lol).

    I was ignorant to what it was, too. I just knew since the 1st grade that I liked boys, and I thought girls were pretty. ^_^ Yet, you can't expect someone to grow up knowing everything about what they feel.
     
    #2 Shadowsettler, Jun 27, 2013
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  3. Annon

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    I'm afraid I dont now what it is like having religious parents. But, I do have a few homophobic members of my family. I waited until I was at work, well away from them, to email them and tell them the good/(from their perspective) bad news. It all ended up fine as they realised although they may not agree, it's each to their own. They weren't happy with that being the case, but they were happy that I was happy.
    It was then that I realised, even if they don't agree, my family will always love me for who ever I am.
    I don't think you can spend years in the closet to your parents. I hope everything works out for you.

    Annon xx
     
  4. Ethan132

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    I've had feelings for guys since around puberty. I really repressed the emotions for years and years. Only in the past year have I really accepted myself for who I am. I'm glad you knew so early off. Maybe if it were more normalized in society there would be more people like you.
     
  5. Shadowsettler

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    Well, I guess having an attractive male teacher didn't help. ;P Needless to say I was very good in class, lol.
     
  6. Ethan132

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    lol you hooligan XD
     
  7. Shadowsettler

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    lol, it wasn't nice when all of everyone started acting funny around me though. I didn't care so much until something happened. They all started calling me out on it, and that's when the shit ball started rolling.
     
  8. Ethan132

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    That sort of happened to me when some people at school started to catch on. I think word might have got around in school. This one kid came up to me during games club and said "HEY, YOUR GAY!" and i was all like "so what if i am?" and he was like "then your an idiot" and i was like "how am i an idiot?" then he started to talk about religion. I stormed out of the room and i cried by the water fountain for like 20 minutes. I've been much more secretive about it since.
     
  9. Shadowsettler

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    I picked fights with people, or they would pick them with me. Most of the time it wouldn't amount to anything serious, just shit talk. I wouldn't let people get your goat, if I were you, give them what they have coming. Just try not to get suspended or anything. ;P When you stand up to dickheads, all the other little baby dickheads get kind of scared and turn away. If you let them walk on you, you end up getting more problems, so It's probably best what you did. :slight_smile:

    ---------- Post added 27th Jun 2013 at 03:22 PM ----------

    and you don't have to fight if you don't want to. ^.^ at least most of the time.
     
    #9 Shadowsettler, Jun 27, 2013
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  10. Ethan132

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    Well the biggest thing about that is I actively try not to get in fights with people. I do mixed martial arts so, often times when people fight me they get very very seriously injured (broken bones, huge cuts and gashes, etc). I don't mean that in like a bragging way I mean that, it's just what happens. I don't like inflicting punishment on people and in the end it's really just not worth it for someone like me to get into fights. *sighs*
     
    #10 Ethan132, Jun 27, 2013
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  11. Shadowsettler

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    No, it's not worth getting suspended either. Just don't be afraid of them. I'm sure you're not, already, if you know several disciplines of martial arts. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: Just ride the wave.
     
  12. Ethan132

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    Yeah, I'm probably more afraid of killing them then I am of them.