I think im gay? And i'm scared

It's simple. You live it the same way you would as a straight person! The only difference is who you're attracted to.

I also had a dream like that probably about 8 months ago. It feels like your subconscious screaming "You're GAY!!", and if I never had that dream I still might not know now.

It actually doesn't change as much as it seems at first. If you really are gay (it sounds like it, but only you can really say), you obviously won't have a wife, but you can get married to a guy and you can still have a family. You can adopt kids. It shouldn't change friends or work. Sexuality alone doesn't make your life good or bad, it's what you do with it (and some luck) that decides how your life will be.

You should probably wait and be sure that you really are gay before telling anyone, but if you know your parents and friends will be supportive then there's no reason to keep it a secret, and you don't need to be alone.

You found the right place! (*hug*)

 

Honestly, I think the worst thing you can do is worry. Yes, it freaked me out too when I didn't like the opposite sex, but it actually hardly changed my life at all. Yes, I am out to only a select few friends, but if you have a supporting set of people, it really hardly changes anything. The only thing I found to change was the gender pronouns when talking/thinking about people I find attractive.

You are still you. Being gay is just a small part of you. I made the mistake of making it consume me for a few years, because like you I was scared. But it's honestly easier to just go with the flow. It seems hard at first, because everything seems different. You're clearly still figuring yourself out, and that is completely fine. I think everyone questions because of societal conditioning, but I won't go into that. I'll start ranting.

Just don't be afraid to be yourself. You are you. You aren't a random, completely different person.

I'm female, so I probably can't help a lot, but feel free to ask any questions you have.

 

Go meet some guys :icon_bigg

Unless you aren't ready for that yet.

(*hug*)

 

Who says you can't get a lovely house, find a guy/husband (if gay marriage is legal where you live)/civil partner, adopt a kid/have a surrogate pregnancy? Sure, you might get some strange looks, but people are generally more accepting nowadays.

I'd say the first step for you is probably working out where you stand. This can honestly take a while. Don't expect it to happen overnight. I would do some research, if you haven't already. Oddly, that's what put my mind at rest. Knowing that other people were questioning, going through the same thing I was, I found very soothing on my thoughts. But the fact you've joined this site and asked those questions puts you on a better foot than most. I remember not having a clue, and a simple Google search basically led me on my way.

I found it very helpful to talk to someone. My friend had been through a phase, and I knew she would be accepting. Talking it through with someone who you know personally can really help. I don't know if I would be as happy with myself today if I didn't have her to fall back on. But I can understand if you don't want to talk to anyone, or have no-one who you think you can trust with the matter. But this site, and the people on here are very supportive, and any questions you have are answered by people who have most likely been through the same thing.

Research into the different types of sexuality also helps. I was pretty naive to everything at first, and seeing it wasn't just gay and straight was almost comforting. I've talked to people who identify as pansexual, demisexual etc. Also, fluid sexuality was a big understanding for me. The idea that perhaps our sexuality isn't a stable thing. I definitely felt 'fluctuations' in who I liked, and that really made sense to me. This site has a general overview.

Finally, this guide on this forum generally helped out my thought process.

Just don't forget that what you're going through is normal, and you are by no means alone in this. I know how scary it can be, not knowing yourself. But there is always light at the end of the tunnel.

 

Hi,

Welcome!

Some perspective questions...

Are you scared by your handedness? Would being right handed or left handed scare you?

What about you'd eye color, does it scare you?

What about your native language does that scare you?

Of course not!

You are you and YOU are FANTASTIC!!!

Keep it in perspective.

 

As far as next steps you might see if there are any support groups or lgbt community centers in your area. These can provide info, support, a circle of associates and friends who have been thru or are going thru the same thing you are, etc. You might even meet someone there.

I would suggest focusing more on learning more and getting more comfortable with yourself at this point rather than trying to find a guy to experiment with. Totally understand the curiosity, but you'll probably have a better time if you have a bit more info first. Which the groups or centers above can provide.

EC is always here as well and will pretty much answer any question, no matter how sexually explicit.

Out of time, but hope this helps,

Todd

 

Don't change anything about how you look or act. There's no need to. Just be yourself.

 

Well, I guess it depends on where you are in Canada (it's kind of a big place, after all )

I went to the Meetup website and checked for LGBT groups in or around Toronto. Over 40 groups, most of them open to both men and women from the look of them, came up. Obviously, I don't know if you are anywhere near Toronto but you could do a search on the site and see if anything comes up in your area that looks interesting.

You could also look online for a LGBT community center or PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) chapter in your area. They may either have programs for people your age and in your situation or can point you at the places that do.

I wouldn't recommend apps or dating sites at this early point in your process, really. To be honest (and not to put you down or anything) you don't have the experience to handle those just yet. And you indicated that's not your thing anyway.

Nope, just be yourself. Dress the way you like, wear your hair the way you like, do what you like. There are all kinds of guys out there and some of them will like the same stuff you do, whether it be video games or rebuilding the engine on your Chevy Half-ton followed by a nice afternoon popping off rounds at the shooting range. Or hunting down a moose/bear/caribou/sheep/whatever is in season at the moment, skinning it out, packing it in, and laying it up in the freezer. Besides, self-confidence and being comfortable in your own skin is one of the most attractive traits you can have.

First off, no worries - it's perfectly normal

Second, you're 18 - up to your eyebrows in hormones - obsessing about guys (sexually or otherwise) is totally expected in your situation. (!)

Hope this helps,

Todd

 

Hey, just wanted to say, relax. Don't ignore it - I tried that once and ended up in a really difficult position with a guy - but don't spend your whole time stressing about either. You'll get there, and in the meantime, all you need to know is that you are perfect the way you are. Don't change anything about yourself because when you meet your soul-mate they'll love you for who you are.

 

Being gay is part of your life. It is impossible to change. Our society diminishes the truth that homosexuality is just as natural as heterosexuality. That is why we all struggle with our sexuality. Remember you are who you are and you are an incredible creature whether you are gay, bi, or straight.

 

Don't change who you are just because you realized your gay. You're still the same person.

That's definitely very normal!

 

Finding out that you are gay is sort of like finding a whole new room in your house that you never knew about, yes you are going to be moving things around a little, maybe set up a spare bedroom or move some boxes, but it is still the same house. Likewise, you are still you. you just found out something new about yourself, you don't have to change anything just because you have discovered that you are gay. Yes it will have an impact on your life, but you are still you. Just as it is up to you to decide what to do with a spare room, it is up to you to decide to do with this new information.