I have a rather good friend, who I walk with to school everyday, and we get on really well. I've been meaning to come out to her for a while, but I do have some trust issues with her. Ages ago, when I thought I was straight, I was dating a guy. I told her in confidence about it because I didn't really want everyone knowing, but she broke my trust and told someone, someone I hardly talk and don't even like. I then had him come up to me and talk to me about, before I knew she had told him, and I just felt really betrayed... That was a long time ago, and I forgave her a long time ago, but there is still a niggling feeling that she may let it slip to someone. And I really don't want that happening again... But, then again, I know she'll be fine with it. She's expressed her support for the LGBT society amongst our friends (everyone generally is rather open about the subject) so I know she won't take it badly. She knows I'm keeping something from her. Do you think I should get over my trust issues and tell her, because part of me does want to. Or do you think she could betray my trust again?
I am going through something really similar right now :/ I told my best mate EVERYTHING (except that I'm gay). And she turned around and told her friend, who was a total stranger to me. So now I'm really torn about telling her. Hugs! =//
I would personally tell her. If you feel the urge to tell people, i generally think that means you're at the stage after denial, and probably ready for the coming out process. If she betrayed you before, it could have been that she wasnt aware that you wanted it kept quiet? Or maybe she was just young and naive. Either way, if you specifically ask her to keep it quiet then im sure she would. You do have to remember when telling anyone that there is a risk it could become more widely known. From personal experience, when i told my best mate, he had told his girlfriend within minutes and my other flatmate had told his friends soon after as well. Alot of people dont understand the emotional difficulty of coming out, and dont give it the seriousness and consideration it deserves. This can make them either think they are helping you by coaxing you to tell others or telling others themselves (this did help me) or just not realising that its something for you to do in your own time and to tell only who you want. If you make it clear you want it kept quiet and how important it is to you she will probably understand better Coming out really is a step into the unknown, and this friend does sound like as good as any to start with, if you are ready
