1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Came out to 2 more people! plus got a question

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Rahata, Apr 28, 2008.

  1. Rahata

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2008
    Messages:
    82
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Yep its true. I told 2 more people today. I told my best friends mom and sister. They took it great. Asked the usual questions, but in the end said thats your choice and you should live happy if that's what you want. So.. YAY!

    Now for the question,
    Ok, I want to tell my dad about me, but all my family says I should wait. They say I should date a girl before I actually make any big decisions. The reason I want to tell my dad is he just went through a pretty big life changing events. had cancer removed last year, and just found out he has a rare blood disease(i don't remember the name). So I'm not sure how to tell him. I was thinking of going out for supper with him. I could phone him and tell him but i think my dad deserves to be told in Person, no matter the consequence. We've never really got along, but the past few years have changed a lot of things. So any ideas...
     
  2. Trumpetplyer23

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2008
    Messages:
    533
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    O-H-I-O!
    I wouldn't come out to your dad right away, considering he was just diagnosed with a rare blood disease. If you came out to him, he'd have two important things revealed to him in a close amount of time. That could possibly upset him and potentially lead to further health problems.

    As for dating a girl, if you don't want to date a girl, then don't. It's a simple as that. Do what makes you happy, not your parents or anyone else. You and only you can decide who you want to date and who you don't want to date.

    Hope your dad's doing alright with that rare blood disease. Sorry to hear about that.
     
  3. Louise

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2007
    Messages:
    1,376
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    France
    You might be feeling that you want to tell your dad, but you should listen to your family at the moment. You are not the only one concerned in this story, your dad is too and it looks like he has more than enough on his plate at the moment without anything more to take on board at the moment.

    That you want to tell him is all to your honour but it is just a question of timing. Let him get over this bit of bad news, start whatever treatment he needs to take and start feeling better. When your family gives you the all clear then I think it would be a very nice idea to go out for a meal with him and tell him.

    You don't say if your dad's desease puts his life in danger, but if not then you have the rest of your life to come out to him, make sure it at a time where he will be open to hearing what you have to say and in a position to 'roll with the blow'.
     
  4. total mo

    total mo Guest

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2007
    Messages:
    66
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Gaytopia
    I have to ask you back, is it really that important to tell your dad right now? He might not be able to take it well especially now that he is in bad condition. Maybe you could wait until he recovers and is in a good mood.

    Someone actually told me he is never telling his dad he's gay. He will only tell his dad when he's dead over his grave. Which I personally think is not a bad idea either. The only catch? His dad might live longer than him. So it's like not telling him at all, but when he dies, you can tell him over his grave so it would lessen the guilt.
     
    #4 total mo, Apr 28, 2008
    Last edited: Apr 28, 2008
  5. Rahata

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2008
    Messages:
    82
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Thanks for the advice guys. I'll keep it quiet it for now.

    And I would tell him over his grave but I'd still feel guilty at least if i told him while he's alive then I know I was honest with him to the full extent while he was a live. I don't like keeping secrets from my parents. I've told them everything except this.. even if i don't get a long with dad i still talk to him... i love the guy lol!!
     
  6. total mo

    total mo Guest

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2007
    Messages:
    66
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Gaytopia
    aw, im sure your old man would be proud. if you tell him on his grave, his ghost would still hear it, and would be happy you somehow told him.
     
  7. Rahata

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2008
    Messages:
    82
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    good point.. hmm.....