So there's this guy at school that I have my eyes on that's really cute, and he has his eyes on me i'm pretty sure too (no, seriously). I've been concentrating on him for the last few weeks. The only problem is that I have an American friend here that happens to be bi...or something and well, he was over at my house yesterday. Well, push comes to shove and we kiss. The thing is that I don't know my friend very well. From what I hear he's got some issues (being depressive, moody, I don't know just creepy I guess) and he doesn't get attached to people (while in a relationship). So today I told him that I thought we should just be friends. The problem is that he didn't have the same idea and my friend was kind of wrong about him. Yeah, he might have the side to him that she's seen, but he's also really vulnerable and isn't very self-confident. He's really sweet too and I think I hurt his pride a bit. He said he'd never been with a guy (sexually) before, and he's a bit shy too. I put it in a really nice way, because I didn't want to be a total bitch, but that started an hour-long conversation on msn. He wanted to know why but the more I tried to explain, the more unfair it seemed to me. So I agreed to get to know him better before I judged him, but now he's backing off. He said he doesn't want to waste my time. I have to find a balance between what I want and how I need to treat him. I think it was a mistake to do what I already did, it was quick fun, but in the end i guess I ended up hurting him. I have to take into account what I want too though. I can't say yes to everybody. I think I was fair, I gave him a second chance and if I still wasn't interested than it would be fair and square. But I'm also being unfair to myself. I do feel bad, and as if maybe I didn't get to know him enough and I could be missing out on something. But at the same time, my bitchy side is saying "He's not your type(physically or personality wise), stop wasting your time trying to be Mr.Nice guy". I want to keep my eyes on the prize (guy from school), who I know I can get if I'm patient, but I feel guilty at the same time. Is my guilt enough to satisfy my guilt? (Does the fact that I feel bad make me feel better) Not sure, I kind of feel like that would be cheating. Why am I a really nice person willing to look past the flaws in everyone and a horrible judgemental bitch at the same time? I guess it balances out. The thing i'm afraid of is not having either one (guy from school or this friend),and I'm even more afraid of that being justified because of my actions. So what do you think? Am I being unfair to him or to myself?
Well, i dont think your being unfair. I think, you are stuck between two boys. One who is at school and this friend. Idk if the one at school is gay or bi but your friend is. If you dont want a relationship with your friend atm, then you dont ahve to. Just tell him that you dont want to get intimate or w/e atm. If you want to wait for your crush, then do so. IDK you are being unfair to either of you. GL
When it comes to relationship advice, I don't really know what I'm talking about, but I'll just say what I think. You feel guilty about hurting your bi friend, but that doesn't mean you've done the wrong thing. I'd suggest you try to explain to your friend that you're interested in someone else, but you still want to be friends. I don't think you should go into a relationship with the bi guy out of guilt, especially when you have your eye on someone else. That wouldn't be fair on either of you. Just tell him how you feel and hopefully you can stay friends
