1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

I have 2 plans to completely come out, not so foolproof, opinion plz

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by MtnFr3sh, Jun 29, 2013.

Thread Tools

Thread Tools

  1. MtnFr3sh

    MtnFr3sh
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2012
    Messages:
    496
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Texas
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    Other
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    All but family
    Okay, so my (new) therapist said it would be a good idea to come out because when you're lying about stuff like this, you're denying yourself the right to fully live, she agrees that homosexuality, bisexuality, etc is genetic, she even has a lesbian granddaughter. I told her about everything that has happened with my mother and also abut Empty Closets.

    So, I've formulated two plans. Plan A and Plan B

    Plan A:
    Wait for both my mother and I to be somewhere public for me to tell her so she doesn't make a scene
    Answer some of her questions but sadly have to lie about a few. Like "Have you ever even kissed a boy?" I'll have to say yes, even though I haven't so she can't say shit like "Then how do you know?"
    Sadly, a while back I used to do things on the internet that my mom caught on to, I sent images of myself to other people (So ashamed :frowning2: ) But I know that when I tell my mom she'll ask if those people were guys, so I'm going to have to lie again an say those were girls and that was still part of my denial.

    Plan B:
    Wait until my next therapist visit and have my mom come back with me and tell her then so we can talk there in a control environment

    Which plan do you guys think is the best, or most safe?

    There is a part two to both of these plans.
    Plan A/B part 2:
    Same myself a lot of time and just to it funnily and post this as my new cover photo (I made it myself! :grin: )
    It's Japanese for "I'm Gay" Put the rainbow in there for a hint, if anybody else wants to use it you're welcome
    [​IMG]
     
    #1 MtnFr3sh, Jun 29, 2013
  2. BiBi

    BiBi Guest

    If going for plan A, be 100% honest with her. I know it sounds hard, but she will (sooner or later) appreciate that you told her the truth, even if she doesn't say it. You may not have kissed a guy yet, but you know yourself better than anyone. I would go with plan A, so you can talk to her directly. If it is serious enough, go with plan B.
     
    #2 BiBi, Jun 29, 2013
  3. Elflord

    Elflord Guest

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2013
    Messages:
    10
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    England
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I'd say be honest with her, she will probably appreciate you told her and that you trust her that much.
     
    #3 Elflord, Jun 29, 2013
  4. RainbowMan

    RainbowMan
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2012
    Messages:
    618
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NYC
    Go with plan A, but don't lie - if you haven't kissed a boy, say so! You know yourself better than she does, and it might come as a shock to her, but you don't need to have kissed a guy in order to know that you're gay (I know this from experience).

    You also don't need to lie about who you sent pictures of yourself to. She either knows or will find out.

    Just be yourself, and everything will be OK.
     
    #4 RainbowMan, Jun 29, 2013
  5. MtnFr3sh

    MtnFr3sh
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2012
    Messages:
    496
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Texas
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    Other
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    All but family
    I didn't fully explain everything about what has happened with my mom in the past because I have posted about her bitchiness several times, that's why I'm more or less asking which plan is the safest, but might also be the most sincere, I don't know which plan to go with...

    Also, what do you guys think of Plan A/B part 2? lol
     
    #5 MtnFr3sh, Jun 29, 2013
  6. sexyalex

    sexyalex
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2007
    Messages:
    1,253
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Kingston
    I like plan number 2.

    Idk, if it's where I am from or my racial culture. It doesn't matter whatever the case is, if your mama wants to beat your ass down, not even the poh poh could stop her. xDD :grin: hahahaha.

    I'm serious!

    But your therapist may be able to step in and give professional insight and 3rd party judgement that your mom may be inclined to respect.
     
    #6 sexyalex, Jun 29, 2013
  7. chicerthanyou

    chicerthanyou
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2013
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    I think that plan B is the best because I came out to my mum and i am only a year younger than you and i know what it is like. I went in depression because i knew i had to tell someone. Plan B allows her to be calm and ask all her questions in front of the therapist. Plan A will be involved either way. my mum still asks me questions of how i know i am gay. so i would recommend B. Good Luck xx
     
    #7 chicerthanyou, Jun 29, 2013
  8. BryanM

    BryanM
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2013
    Messages:
    2,894
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Columbia, Missouri
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I personally like plan b better, since it's a private setting and /if/ she causes a scene somehow, only you and your therapist would know. I also think your therapist could help guide you through some of the questions your mother might ask. Best of luck to you.
     
    #8 BryanM, Jun 29, 2013
  9. Ritor365

    Ritor365
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2013
    Messages:
    90
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    The deep depths of my mind
    I think Plan B is better.

    I mean, if you do it in public, she probably won't make a scene there (PROBABLY), but what's to say she won't when you get home? Besides that, she might bottle up emotions while you're out, which could make the potential "eruption" worse when you get home.

    At least at the office, you'll have someone to back you up in a controlled environment, and is private at the same time, and will allow both you and your mother to get your feelings out.
     
    #9 Ritor365, Jun 29, 2013
(You must log in or sign up to post here.)