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Just a few personal fear's.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by SkySky, Jun 30, 2013.

  1. SkySky

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Indiana
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Well now if you have read either of my two other message's or my profile you know my writing is compleatly scatterbrained and random. >_< So ill try to do my best to keep this as orginized as possable.

    Alrighty then, Honestly iv reached a point in my life now about to hit 19 with some number of month's that these mask's i put on just cant even make me put on a fake smile anymore. But iv hid who i am for so long that no-one know's who i am and even i have trouble knowing myself anymore if that makes any sence. I mean my gender identity is something i can worry about at anypoint. But my tough kinda Im a manly man oh man that kids so gay haha bet he chokes em down, front is getting unbearable to keep up. Whenever i say something like "Man i could never be like that those two guys that creep's me out" I get a feeling inside my cheast i almost picture someone shaking there head everytime. Because i know its a lie, I know everything i do or say anymore danm near is a lie. and its just hard to keep up. Im afraid like god honest afraid thatpeople i know wouldent exept it and i get hurt or sad when someone i like talking to defreinds me on facebook. So i dont know how i oculd hand the half of my family i danm near know for a fact would just be like. "Nope change your last name." ;-; Plus my freind's atleast some or most of them are going to be like....no...v.v Om scared and i almost feel trapped and stuck like one way i get bit in the as the otherway i ram my face into a brick wall.... :\
     
  2. AKTodd

    Full Member

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    As a starting point you could simply choose to not make comments the way you have been doing. A small step, and maybe only one that you will notice. But it would probably take care of the feeling that someone is shaking their head in disappointment every time you do this.

    Beyond this, perhaps you could just mostly take the attitude that at 19 you just don't find yourself caring about what other people are doing that doesn't impact you. This could move you away from making comments as well and explain to your friends and family why you have stopped commenting, assuming any of them notice or ask.

    Just some thoughts,

    Todd