Maybe a couple people could help me out here, I'll try to keep it short. I'm twenty years old and recently came out to a couple of friend, three to be exact. One is my best friend since middle school. While we were heading to our spot to go fishing spot, we were talking about his relationship. He's stuck between two girls, and which one he wants to be with. I told him to be thankful that he won't be alone for the rest of his life. He replied that "there's someone out there for everyone". While there certainly was a huge relief after coming out, after twenty years of having no relationship, only obvious failed tries with couple girls ending in oblivion. I just don't believe it anymore, I am losing hope. I feel lonely, alone, almost worse then when I was in hiding. It's hard to go on day by day, realizing the fact that I will probably be alone for the good majority of my life. Sometimes I ask myself, why don't I get the option of having a family, having a kid, why doesn't my dick work when around girls. Any input would be appreciated.
Hi there You certainly are not alone, and I also feel like yourself and I did put a post up in the chit-chat section marked lonely and frightened a few days ago. Have a read of this for information. I am 44 and never had a relationship and the words "There is someone for everyone" is something I feel like yourself will never happen to me. Just to have someone care for me would be amazing, and I don't know about you but I do have lot's of dreams about being with someone and when you wake up and realise it wasn't true it makes you feel worse for the rest of the day. If you want someone to talk to you can always contact me as I need friends and support also and it would be nice to be able to have a chat with someone in the same situation as myself. It's only through places like this that helps and it does make you feel better being able to discuss your problems with other people. A problem shared is a problem halved they say, well sometime it's true ! Don't feel sad and down, support is always at hand. Take care and keep posting X Gavin
You're sure to find someone, and coming out was the right thing to do. Now that you're out, you should find a place to meet others like you nearby and make some new friends and hopefully find a relationship! Best of luck to you, and remember that no matter how hard it gets, you are not alone.
Oh, I get that feeling, sometimes I kind of stop to think and I'm like "yeah, I'll probably never have someone by my side" and you know what? F that feeling, bro. It's impossible to say what you are going to have 20 years from now? You know what? We are gonna meet girls (for me) and boys (for you) and we'll be happy. We won't be alone. There is someone out there for everyone. One day everything will fall together and i bet you'll be the happiest guy on earth.
love isn't the pizza man, he isn't going to ring your door bell. Get out there and get to know people, ask friends to introduce you to people. Is there a GLBT center where you live? See if you can get involved in that. And, you're 20, you've got you're whole life to find that perfect guy and chances are you're going to meet plenty of Mr. Wrong's before you meet Mr. Right.
I didn't come out until I was 21 and didn't have my first serious relationship until I was in my early 20s. I met my current partner when I was 27. You are just starting out in life and have lots of time to find someone. But as others have said, you need to put yourself out there and socialize with other people in order to meet anyone you will want to be more than just social with. Todd ---------- Post added 3rd Jul 2013 at 09:29 PM ---------- Oh, and to answer your other question, there is no reason that you can't get married to a guy and have kids and such. Currently that means living in certain places and more time and effort than what straights go thru but that's getting better at a steady pace. You'd need to use adoption or surrogacy for children but that's quite doable. Todd ---------- Post added 3rd Jul 2013 at 09:29 PM ---------- Oh, and to answer your other question, there is no reason that you can't get married to a guy and have kids and such. Currently that means living in certain places and more time and effort than what straights go thru but that's getting better at a steady pace. You'd need to use adoption or surrogacy for children but that's quite doable. Todd
It'd be a lie to tell you that dating is going to be as easy for you as it is for opposite-sex daters. It probably won't be as easy and you probably won't get the same volume of dates your friend will, simply because your dating pool is somewhere around 1/10th the size of his. Of course, that's before applying any sort of preferences, chemistry, etc. in who you choose to date. I'm not trying to discourage you. Wanna know why? You really can find a "Mr. Right". You can have a lasting relationship. You can still build a family, have a kid, and get a house with a white picket fence if you really want. You're likely going to have to put in a bit more effort to find people, but it doesn't even have to be as hard as I'm making it out to be. Congregate in LGBT centers (bars, clubs, groups, etc.), try online dating, NETWORK with other LGBT people - basically do everything in your power to surround yourself with eligible bachelors. There's nothing wrong with straight people... until you're looking to date. And of course, going off the networking thing... unless you're (hell, even if you're) painfully flamboyantly stereotypically gay, if you're closeted you're not on the dating market. Coming out helps resolve some of that. Finally, what everyone else said is right - you're only 20. You've got tooooooooons of time to meet people and date. Think about it: while all our straight friends have been dating and we haven't... if you look at the numbers, they've really only got 4/5 years of potential solid dating opportunity over us. If you're expecting to live 80+ years, that's small potatoes, isn't it? Try not to worry about it.
