Is there anything worse than being gay in an Arab country?

Welcome, you will always be accepted here and it's quite sad that so many people are shallow and narrow minded especially in certain religions.
You have a place now to discuss your pain and this is a very friendly community that we share our feelings and help one another conquer our problems.
Living where you do is really hard for you and I am glad that you have come accross the EC forum and anything you need to discuss you will feel accepted no matter your gender.

 

First, Welcome To EC! (*hug*)

Secondly, when you are raised in a very homophobic environment, it is usually better to expect the worst. Especially in a country where you wouldn't have an legal protection, you have to be careful of trying to come out to everyone in person. Its great that you have taken the initiative to find a career and move out of the country, but you might have to face a harsh reality that they will never fully accept you.

 

Please stay safe. Challenging your dad could just get you killed. The only thing I worried about when coming out to my parents was that they wouldn't talk to me. You may need to be concerned for your life.

 

I'm going to refer to the experience of a Buddhist religious leader, Thich Nhat Hanh. He is from Vietnam, and has been part of monastic orders for most of his life. During the Vietnam War in the sixties, he was in the United States, studying, for a part of it -- but with all the energy and focus and resources he had, he spoke for peace, and for compassion and caring between the warring factions of his home country--and was exiled for it. He spent 40 years without seeing his home country, but has done great things in that time.

If possible, I think that some of his writings might be of interest to you. Self-exile will probably bring you the most long-term happiness.

 

Hi, Welcome to EC,

It's unfortunate that you are in the situation you're in with your family. It is fortunate that you have been able to build a life for yourself in a more accepting part of the world.

To answer your question (and not to be depressing), but it would be worse to be gay in an Arab country and not be able to leave.

In time, the various countries of the Middle East will hopefully come around in their views on women and gay people. Could take centuries, could happen surprisingly fast. History is funny that way. If you find the opportunity to provide support for organizations that promote human rights and positive change in your home country or the Middle East, I can think of worse ways to spend some of your time and money.

Finally, although you signed yourself as 'ExMuslim', I would mention that there are apparently some progressive Muslim groups and mosques here and there around the world that support both equality of women and gay people. Do a google search on 'gay friendly mosques' to find various articles.

I'm an atheist, so not trying to convert you back or anything. But if you are feeling pain or distress due to having to give up your faith due to your orientation, or feel that the majority Muslim view on homosexuality is wrong, then these groups might be helpful or of interest to you.

Hope this helps,

Todd:smilewave

 

Oh, that's tough. Take the advice of everyone here and any time you want to talk we are all here for you.

I also live in a homophobic country where homosexuality has been criminalized so I just want to get out of here.

I already know my parents would probably never accept my sexuality.

 

im sorry to hear that.. i cant imagine how much of a struggle that must be. but you can rely on everyone here.

if your dad is going to be like that though, and you want to come out, id say to do it when your out of the country and back at your home. and like others said, prepare for the worst. dont get too hurt by what may happen either, brace yourself for what they may say and do. and be ready to be cut off from them for a while.

but that being said, you will, however, find personal peace and happiness. even if you dont feel it right away

 

gay in an african country

---------- Post added 9th Jul 2013 at 03:24 AM ----------

oh sorry i didn't read the op. i feel like a tool. welcome, we wish you well, and whilst we may not fully understand your anguish, we are with you every step of the way. (*hug*)

 

I'm sorry you're going through this emotional hell right now, i'm kinda in a similar situation where male homosexuality is punishable (though only a jail sentence) and i've developed a strained relationship with my parents over my own homosexuality and they expect me to change to straight and as such

 

Welcome to EC!
Think first, you just so happen to be unfortunate enough where your situation can get you put in prison, or worse. I am so sorry, my only worry is being yelled at, I'm not concerned for my life.
I hate t say it, but to be open about yourself, it would be best to move anywhere else BUT there, it must hurt thinking that you may have to leave your home permanently just because of this, but your safety is of the highest priority. Eventually, things may change in your country, but from the little I know, it may take decades, maybe even a century or two.
Some countries offer immigration, and perhaps citizenship to those who are in dire need of refuge, and your situation, especially in your country, just might qualify, though in the USA, it would be harder considering how people act towards people from your region, all of you are terrorists in most American's minds sadly, it would take longer.

What I can advise to you on how you can tell your parents, is that after you have decided what you are going to do and immigrate to a safe country, get your parents on skype, and explain everything to them. Explain why you left, and hope they don't overreact. If you want it to be more personal, you could always invite them over and tell them there.

It doesn't really matter what you choose to do, so long as you are SAFE

 

I really liked your post. Thank you for sharing!

 

Many countries have problems with homophobia. It's too simple to lay blame on Muslims for the attitudes of people in the Gulf countries. If people in the Gulf countries were actually motivated by Islam, then maybe there wouldn't be problems with, for example, holding poor foreign nationals in the country while paying them a pittance. There are many Muslims (and Muslim countries) which do not exhibit the same level of homophobia.

I also find it a bit concerning that users can bash practically any religion on this thread without condemnation.

A Proud Muslim

 

Hmmm... Is it worse being an evangelical Christian who is loud and outspoken? IDK...

 

Gay USA 7.10.13 Video

 

I'd prefer to be gay in an Arab country than being gay in sub-Saharan Africa. Islam is generally no friend to homos, but some African countries have basically made it their objective to eliminate gayness wherever it's found, usually by eliminating the person's life.