Hey everybody, So I told a handful of people that I'm gay a few weeks ago, and I'm still sort of feeling weird about it. I mean, I'm really relieved to have got it off my chest and everything. My problem is that I never acted particularly camp (I was good at being in the closet), and I honestly thought that was who I was rather than a persona I was putting on. Now that I'm (a tiny bit) out, I kind of feel like I want to be more... out loud and proud, if you see what I mean. I realise it's probably just another step towards being comfortable with my identity now that I'm out, but I don't feel like I want it to change my entire personality. Did anybody else experience this, and how long did it last for?
It won't "change your personality", you're still very much yourself. What's happening is that you're gradually letting yourself act in certain ways which you would otherwise block, whether consciously or unconsciously. You won't start liking the Twilight Saga starting tomorrow or anything like that. I personally still very much listen to metal music for example. Sure my behavior has changed slightly, I enjoy crossing my legs for some reasons, it feels comfortable even though that's not something I did when I was in the closet, but that is incredibly minor. I'm still very much myself, my tastes are the same as they used to be, although they have been expanding over time since I came out, meaning that I'm more open to a wider range of things, but I haven't made an 180 degree. There's really nothing to fear with regards to the "changes" that will be happening to you over time.
I'm going through this now. I don't know if it's a mixture of coming out to more people, or loads of pride events going on at the moment, I just feel like I want to be very open about it and just let everyone know. I keep on having to reel myself back in. I think it's definitely a step to acceptance of yourself, and perhaps more so the acceptance of others knowing. I was terrified when I told my best friend, but she was so lovely that it gave me so much confidence. Just remember, being gay is only part of you. It's not you. Don't feel like you have to change just because what your label is. Sure, there's stereotypes, but you certainly don't feel like you have to fulfil them.
I'm also going through this ..... except I'm not out at all yet (except to the school counsellor). I'm, what you could call, 'banging on the closet door'. I suggest a way to get it out of your system without being too in people's faces about it is to attend Pride, if it hasn't already happened in your area.
Thanks for the responses guys! That was sort of what I assumed but I just wanted some reassurance. Thinking about what you've said, I'm thinking that being out is a new stage of my life and so it's natural that I shouldn't feel exactly the same. I just feel like I'm evolving more quickly than I'm comfortable with, but I guess I just need to wait until I reach an equilibrium. I've been denying myself the opportunity to admit that I'm gay for long enough that it's probably just all coming out at once now. So thanks! :icon_mrgr ---------- Post added 3rd Jul 2013 at 09:04 PM ---------- I was quite unfortunate that I decided to come out about a fortnight after the local Pride parade! (Wasn't paying too much attention to LGBTQ events beforehand so didn't know it was on until I realised I'd missed it.) However, I am definitely going to look into getting involved with the LGBTQ society at my uni next semester, and I do have a couple of bi friends that I could go to clubs with, so hopefully that will get some of it out of my system. Thanks for the advice!
