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He doesn't get it

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Zeru, Jul 2, 2013.

  1. Zeru

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2013
    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New Mexico
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    So my parents are totally fine with whatever my sexual orientation is or whatever, they talked about being openminded and loving of everyone regardless of who they loved from a young age. It was all explained, my mothers best friend and his husband helped me get it...

    But I had no real clue growing up about gender issues, and this became a problem. I kept feeling for a long time that gender didn't really make a difference and it wasn't a big deal what people said because I was just a 'kid' and I didn't consider myself anything but a kid.

    Then, puberty happened and things started to get confusing. I couldn't understand why things felt so wrong, but society and my parents were raising me and providing examples of what one does in a sexually female body and how to be a cis-gender female.

    I didn't even know what Transgender was until far later when I started doing research on my own nearing adulthood. It doesn't help I was raised in the deep south where everything is cruel and closeminded.

    When I started coming out to my family as FtM, my little sister seemed (still seems) perfectly fine with it. She started at least using gender neutral pronouns with people that knew me before and calling me male mostly when she remembers, which isn't all the time for other reasons which will be explained.

    Mom took some time, I had to sit her down and tell her that I"m not rejecting her feminist teachings by wanting to be male; I'm still all for gender equality and the rights of all to equality. Then she was afraid I was making a bad decision, telling me that most people come out far younger and that I was probably just confused. I talked her into accepting me more by telling her what I needed most was just love and support, and if this 'was' a mistake (not that I think it is) it was mine and not hers.

    My father on the final hand has been hard. He... accepts it? To a degree. I know he loves me, he loves me unconditionally... but he's upfront and told me that no matter what I do this will never make him happy and he'll always be sad about this. To him I'm killing his daughter, I'm robbing his little girl from him that he'll always see me as.

    What can I do to make him see that I'm not killing his little girl, I'm just changing gender? I'm not becoming a different person or anything, I'm just becoming who I am and trying to get others to accept me that way.

    What do I even do...?
     
  2. FluffyKinz

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2013
    Messages:
    27
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Bahamas
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    All but family
    You can't really do anything about it. It's up to them to see it how it actually is or not. Many parents feel this way. Some get over it eventually, and some don't. I just hope you get lucky and that yours do...