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How does one even go about coming out?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by meoawlex, Jul 4, 2013.

  1. meoawlex

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    CT
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    A few people
    my parents are pretty open minded, but when i came home one day with a girlfriend, they never really questioned it. i assume they just thought i was gay (until i started dating a guy.)

    i've never formally come out to my parents about my sexuality because it's just easier for me. that way i don't have to explain not being 100% gay or straight. they don't care anyway.

    blah ok so point is i have never had any experience coming out and now that i am presented with the unavoidable desire to be a man, i am at a loss. with sexuality i never had to come out because it didn't effect anything they did. but now, if i were to come out as trans, i would have to talk to them (pronouns, etc).

    i'm just not sure how to do this. although my parents are open minded i feel as though they'd be extremely skeptical because i'm not all sports and manly sh**. i'm pretty docile and dainty honestly, excuse for some aggressive episodes.

    any advice?? do i just say hey mom dad call me a boy or what? i know every parent is different but i dont even know where to begin

    edit: i'll probably just end up texting my mom some time and type some long msg and let her relay that to my dad because im also really bad with confrontational stuff??
    also what about other family members?? i dont really care what they have to say about me because at this point i am doing something for myself rather than everyone else. what are you experiences with unsupportive grandparents and how would you deal with them?
     
    #1 meoawlex, Jul 4, 2013
    Last edited: Jul 4, 2013
  2. clockworkfox

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Gender:
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    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I'm still trying to figure out how to come out to my parents myself. I've thought about writing a letter, but it always turns out convoluted and bad. We're working on finding me a therapist, I told my mom it's nothing major, I just feel like I need to talk to someone and clear some things up for myself. I'll probably tell them after I meet with whoever I end up seeing.

    Grandparents are weird. My one grandmother is very old fashioned and very catholic. She is always harping on me to be more feminine. It's kind of weird because I don't behave in a particularly masculine way, I'm just bad with the tiny little facets of femininity that I'm expected to convey. They're hard for me, it feels like acting. I just try to tune her out when she starts going off on me. My other grandmother, while more open, is still always gushing about her "wonderful granddaughters". And seeing how she's been known to literally throw holy water on people when she's worried about them for listening to rock music, I don't feel like opening that can of worms with her. I just sort of groan and move the conversation along.
     
  3. GArchi1992

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Sexual Orientation:
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    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Such a hard thing to do, in any situation, no matter how accepting and open minded your parents might be. I would think about what I was going to say to them if I was you. A letter might be a good way to get all your thoughts out and put everything in a bit more perspective, you might see it in a different light if it's on paper :slight_smile:. Just try and explain it in the best way possible, don't expect them to understand it right away it will probably take time as you know yourself. Sorry that I couldn't be more helpful on the situation, I hope everything goes really well for you (*hug*)
     
  4. gavguy

    gavguy Guest

    So many things are hard in life but I think coming out is one of the hardest going.
    So many factors are involved like fully accepting your own sexuality, who you have around you for support, the usual what if's or but's but one thing is sure that you are not alone here.
    You have a full support of people to talk to on EC, and any problems you may have don't be frightened to make a post and ask for some advice as we are all one happy family(*hug*)