My brother is one year younger than me and we're really close even when we study in different Cities now and don't see each other as often. So it's actually over a month now that I told my brother I'm gay. He was the first I ever told and I actually told him in person. I think bringing up the courage to tell him and actually say the words out loud was the hardest a thing I ever did. Before I told him we were running in a marathon (because we made a drunk new years resolution) but telling him was a lot more difficult and demanding. I was sweating and shaking and almost didn't get a word out for about 15 min and then all he said was "okay" then some few seconds later he asked if this wasn't a joke so I had to tell him again that it was for real. After that he said (I'm trying to translate): "I'm fine with it, I don't have anything against faggo... eh gays" which I think was kind of funny. But after this evening I hasn't come up again. Then about 2 weeks ago I told my Mum by leaving a letter on the table for her to find and read when I went out. About 2 hours latter I got back home she was crying, she told me she loved me and she'd accept me but she also was upset why I hadn't told her earlier and later she said perhaps I would still find a girl sometime which made me clench my fists. Also she said she would never have thought I might be gay, my brother perhaps but not me. I told my Mum that my brother already knows and I also told my brother that I gave my Mum "The Letter" but nobody said anything. Also on the weekend when my brother and I were at home from studying it didn't come up not even between the two of them. It's some kind of taboo, that nobody talks about and somehow this is bothering me. Also I haven't told my Dad yet. I'm thinking of letting my Mum break the news to him but I'm not sure about it. what do you think is it okay to have one parent tell the other or should I do it myself?
First of all - congratulations on telling people, you are correct to say that it's one of the hardest things people in our community ever have to do. Obviously I only know about your situation what I have written, but I do have to ask if you're sure that there's some taboo, or if they just don't see it as that big a deal. Presumably you and your mother don't always discuss your brother's heterosexuality, so why expect them to do the same for you? I hope that makes sense, it isn't intended to offend you. I haven't been out for long and I'm still in a phase of wanting to talk about nothing else but my sexuality, but you have to realise that for other people it usually isn't as big a deal as it is for us and doesn't merit very many conversations. As for telling your father, do whatever you're comfortable with. Plenty of people tell one family member and then ask them to pass the message on to everybody else, you certainly wouldn't be the first, so if that's what you'd prefer to do then go for it!
My parents haven't really talked about it at all since the day after I told them. They don't have a problem with it, I just assumed that they knew it would be a little uncomfortable for me if they started talking about it a lot. It's probably the same with your family.
Since I told my Mom, she doesn't mention it anymore, it's as if I hadn't really told her & I know I did, is it some kind of denial? I don't know it's weird
@ LinkLarkin: I hope you're right and it just isn't a big deal for them and not some sort of taboo. I mean I hoped it wouldn't be a big deal and all we would talk about, but somehow it still feels weird.
