WARNING! Kinda long....sorry. Growing up in a strict LDS household, with my Step-Father being born into the church and my Mother a convert from Southern Baptism, homosexuality was not merely seen as a sin, but as an act only the lowliest of animals would commit. So naturally when I hit puberty and things started to change the first thought that popped into my head was that I was being led astray by the Devil and his cohorts, one of them being a young man that I met while camping and taught me a few....*ahem* things. :***: As the years progressed on, I started to date women and fall away from the teachings of the Church. By the time I was 16 I had strayed so far off of the "Path" that I had developed a coke addiction, I was drunk nearly constantly, and if something didn't change soon I would have been dead within the year most likely. My Mother saw how horribly I had been treating my self and forced me to start attending Church again, where I continued to go until I was 18. When I turned 18 I was completely off of cocaine and only drank at the occasional party, something that still remains true now that I am 21 [at the time of this posting]. That is one of the things that I am grateful to the Church for. However, I had also come to realize who I was, and how much damage it was doing to me keeping it in, and not allowing myself to be who I was. So I made a decision. I was going to try it out and see if I felt any better allowing my homosexual desires come into the light. So I invited one of my friends that I knew was gay, one of the few people who knew that he was, and talked to him about my situation, something that he was more than happy to help me figure out....:***::***!):***::icon_bigg:***::***: After my encounter with my friend I realized that this is who I was. This is what I am. And then I cried. For an hour. And it felt good. Because I was releasing a decade of pain and torment on myself, and then I began to realize why I did what I did in the past. The drugs were numbing my pain. I also knew that this was not the correct time to let my parents know. My step-dad had just lost his job and my mother was still upset that I had moved out, for people that are as sensitive as my parents, it was best to let things wait. I let some time pass, about a year or so, and I decided that it was time to inform my Mother who her son really was. So I sat down with my favorite well ink pen and a piece of parchment paper (yes I have a thing for the old fashioned), and this is what I wrote. "Mom, You told me from the moment that I came into this world that I would forever be perfect in your eyes. No matter what I did. No matter whom I harmed, I would be perfect to you, for I was God's gift to you as you're last born. I hope what you are about to read does not tarnish your view of me. I am a homosexual. This is not a choice, but I am not ashamed of it anymore. I have fought with myself over this for longer than you could know, and the right has won. No matter what others may say when they find out, no matter what YOU say, know this. I am your son. Nothing will ever change that. You brought me into this world. I love you. ~Bobby" And with that I placed it into an enveloped, sealed it, put a stamp on it, and away it went. One week later I received a voice mail from her. No tears in her voice, no happiness either. Just one small, less than 30 second voice mail. "You are my son. I don't care who you love. You are MY son. I will love you forever." When I heard this I bawled like a newborn for I don't know how long. This woman who I had been so terrified to tell, became my biggest supporter with one letter written one week before with a tear drop on the bottom right hand. I was fortunate with my coming out. I hope that my story helps you with your coming out, if you haven't already. No matter what happens just remember that someone out there is waiting for you, but they will never know you until you take that first small step out, and show your beautiful, bright, shiney eyed, face. <3
When I finished reading what you wrote I dropped a few tears ..first time that something like that happen to me, I'm not emotional person at all. it's probably because it's a little hard for me to accept myself right now. I'm happy for you for coming out and for the changes you've made in life
that was so beautifully written. i guess they're right when they say people can change, i'm glad your mother did, it gives me hope all the best
Now you're making ME cry! =') This is the most beautiful coming out story I've ever read. Congratulations.
Congratulations on both such a good letter, and such a wonderful, supportive response from your mom. I think it's particularly difficult for LDS children because of the Church's stance on excommunication and such, and you're really lucky to have a mother so completely supportive and loving
Congratulations! It would appear from your writing and your deep feeling that you were raised right, by the right person; and yet not by the beliefs she holds so dearly.
