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I DID IT!!! finally told my dad!

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by tired_of_lying411, Jan 31, 2007.

  1. tired_of_lying411

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    WHOA!!!! :eusa_danc

    This is amazing. I'm out to my whole family now! This rocks more than anything ever.

    I must admit that it wasn't as "happily ever after" as I hoped for it to be. He was, of course, taken off guard. This is some pretty big stuff to drop on a guy about his own son. Hardly after dinner talk, but I went for it. He said he had questioned it slightly in the back of his mind, but never really formed any opinions on my being gay. He really seemed quite surprised. Even more surprised at the fact that I've already told my brother.

    Most upsetting was his "how do you know?" comments. Especially the "what if you found the right girl?" But I really don't blame him at all for that. I mean, I've been dealing with this for four years now, and as we can see, I'm not exactly comfortable with it yet...

    So I simply dismissed his questions with, "Okay, dad, say some hot guy comes strolling in here and says if you tried it with him, you might like it. What do you say?" It seemed to work. I think he got the picture that you just know. It's not a choice, and you don't have to be banging guys left right and center to know you're going to like it.. it's no different than his knowing he's straight. :icon_bigg

    Okay, now it's time for the super gold cup of AWESOMENESS award to be presented to my mom. :eusa_danc we're going to need an icon for that *wink*

    She was simply amazing. She started me off with "Brenton has something he would like to talk about..." and then I just barfed it out.. "I'm gay"
    And didn't he say, "what?" :lol: So now I've said it to him twice. I think the word gay is loosing its scariness to me now. officially :icon_bigg

    Anyway... don't want this to get too long, so THIS IS AMAZING, and I'm happy... WHOO

    and to anyone who is even thinking about it: DO IT! in 15 hours I went from not thinking it was going to happen, to actually telling him. AND IT FEELS AMAZING!!!

    so thanks, and good luck to all!
     
  2. ampthejazz

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    Congrats man!!!! I'm glad everything went well!
     
  3. tired_of_lying411

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    thanks! I feel so happy and calm now :icon_bigg
     
  4. suburbs_of_sodom

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    Ok, I'm sorry, I have to congratulate you again. That's a huge step to take, and now you don't have to hide at home anymore. Home for you is now what it should be: a completely safe place.

    It's also great about your mom, she was there and completely supported you when you needed her the most, so that's really good for her.

    So now you can get on with your life, and with the confidence that you must have gained from this accomplishment, the task of telling other people and maybe even finding someone shouldn't seem so difficult anymore. You can just live how you were meant to live and not have to worry about anything at home.

    Good work.

    -Chris
     
  5. tired_of_lying411

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    Thanks, Chris! That's exactly how great it is.

    I'm basking in this right now... and this smiley::eusa_danc is exactly what I look like right now, haha
     
  6. step49x

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    Congrats on coming out! :grin:

    I am now officially jealous of you. I still haven't come out to my siblings, yet. I hope to tell them some time this summer.
     
  7. LorenzG1950

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    Hey congratulations. The nice thing is that the feeling lasts and lasts. When you wake up tomorrow, you'll ask yourself whether it really happened:eek: . Then you'll be happy all over again.:slight_smile:
     
  8. TriBi

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    Nice one!:thumbsup:

    Glad it went well and you feel good about it.:icon_bigg
     
  9. Paul_UK

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    Congratulations - and thanks for sharing the good news with us! (!) (!) (!)
     
  10. tired_of_lying411

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    Lorenz is totally right! The feeling lasts, and I really did wake up wondering if it had all been a dream :icon_bigg

    Things have resumed as normal... i.e.- we're not like obsessing over it, so it's great! I think my dad had a big chat with my mom (the most awesome person in the world) after I told him, which is good.

    I'm really glad he has someone to talk to about it, and I'm glad my mom isn't all alone in this now.

    My confidence, with the little things has just ballooned because of this. It's alleviated me of all my little stresses. I can just be the way I want to be now, without filter, and without worry. What's the worst that can happen now? He'll think I'm gay? hahahaha

    It really surprises me how in the dark he seemed about it. All you could see on his face was genuine shock when I told him. Which really made me happy, for some reason. I guess I've always thought I was a little more noticeable than I would like to be, and if my own father, the man who has seen me play with dolls and figure skate, feels this way, then I'm right at the level I want to be.

    I really had no idea how much I was missing out on. All intangible, but all so very important to my being happy. THIS, has really cured me. The world and I are now spinning at the same pace :icon_bigg
     
  11. Proud1p4

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    *konga line and maracaas* (!)

    Congrats...i espicially like who you told him about "what if the right guy came in here" (in different words).
     
  12. Sam

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    CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!
    I have really have been hoping you would do it soon and you DID IT! now like I said before don't you feel a LOT better? I am so glad he took it well my dad didn't ask the how do you know questions but my mom sure did but they are both very supportive now and it looks like your dad is going to be completely fine with this WOW you have no idea how happy I am for you, you had us all worried about you for a while now but I'm sure you will feel a lot better now congratulations again I was checking my post to see more replies and I read your reply and didn't even finish reading the replies on my post but instead came immediately to see the coming out stories
    I'm really happy for you!
    Sam
     
  13. SpikySpice

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    CONGRATS!!!!!!!!!!!!! You know what, you're amzing. I wish that I could come out with my parents. Oly my sis and friends knew. But I 'll do it someday
     
  14. tired_of_lying411

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    Thanks so much! It just reinforces the fact that This place saved me.
    You have no idea how good it feels to know people care. And again, I am SO happy I did it. It's the most amazing feeling in the world!

    My is even like over-accepting it now.. which is a little odd. He's bringing up the whole "guys" thing up... :lol:

    I guess He'll find the right balance in time. All is good. But really, if I were straight, I wouldn't be discussing all the hot girls with my mom... so it's really the vice versa situation here.

    Now comes the (exciting?) task of getting comfortable with talking to my mom about hot guys. She's trying. Hard. And that's good. I need it. It's just a little hard right now.

    I mean, Mark Consuelos. He;s a total cutie, and my mom mentioned just that, with an "isn't he?" and I left her hanging...

    Oh well, I'm really not worried about it. It will all come with time. The big things are all in order, so I'm calm about the rest.

    PS-THIS IS STILL AMAZING!!! Everyone HAS to come out. It feels SO good. I think I'd be disappointed if I ever tried drugs, hahaha
     
  15. Proud1p4

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    Thats all great but just remember to count you blessings. If your Dad's making an honest effort to reach out, even if it seems awkward to you, accepting those offers of being connected means more than you know, it could mean the difference between your Dad thinking "he came out to push me away" and "he came out to reach out to me". Trust me you want to reaffirm your intentions by accepting every offer of communication that comes your way.

    As for your mom, if you can come out to her and your dad. Don't you think being able to say "yeah he's alright" or even "yeah i agree" would be riddiculously more easy than saying "i'm gay". And even if you never tell them who you think is attractive, it's no big deal. Like you said, if you were straight this would still be awkward. But in case you feel adventurous and want to reach out in every way possible. Just try and limit your answers at first, instead of saying "yeah he's a total cutie" try "yeah i agree" (if she already stated the adjective) or "yeah he's alright" (with a little energy and a smile, try not to display your discomfort).

    Good luck in the future.
     
  16. tired_of_lying411

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    Sorry for not replying to this sooner, but I've been busy/forgot about it.

    Things seem to have settled entirely now. I like life at home now. It's all about what he thinks about me, the stuff he doesn't say. That's what bothered me most, and I think he knows how happy it makes me that he just knows.

    I was never out to become a different person after telling him, and I'm not, really. Just a few things I can let slide without regret. I think we have found out balance. Everyone is at peace on the issue now.
     
  17. Half-Light

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    Kool dude!!!...i wish i could coem out to my parents and everythign be cool...but yeah, Congrats!!!
     
  18. jayden

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    yeah same for me mate. Congrats!