Mods: If I posted in the wrong subforum, feel free to move this accordingly. I guess it's best to start at the beginning. I haven't had a hell of a lot of relationships with either gender (majority have been with men, not women), but enough to know that I'm definitely Bi (and monogamous, just for clarification). I'm frustrated because as a Bi woman, I don't know how to stop feeling invisible without possible harassment from society. I came out to my family when I was 17 (was crushing on a female Bi best friend. Nothing happened but we're still friends to this day.), and for the most part they've been accepting of it, but my foreign parents don't fully understand Bisexuality. My family's at least liberal-minded so I'm very thankful my situation wasn't some kind of horror story with disownment or what have you. I was in my college's GSA which was great for support but nothing else came out of it. I've been a member of some mailing lists for support which sort of helps, but have never really felt a sense of "community" in any GLBTQ groups I've been a part of--it depresses me sometimes. One bright spot is living with the love of my life, an online friend of several years--we started dating 3 years ago and I moved down to live with him this year. I couldn't be happier, but I still feel like certain aspects of myself aren't integrated. For instance, my sexuality and my spirituality. I was born and raised as a liberal Catholic, own the book Blessed Bi Spirit and know about the organization Dignity USA but I don't know what steps to take to be happy with myself. And because I've mainly dated men, it's not that I doubt I'm Bisexual--but I do feel discouraged that I couldn't find another girl who emotionally/romantically "clicked" with me. I wouldn't trade my love for anything, but it's still a sometimes depressing thought. I'm only out to family/close friends, but most people assume I'm straight anyway which is sometimes a depressing thought too. I don't necessarily want to wear my sexuality on my sleeve but I also don't want to deal with any "there are no bisexuals" bullshit. Any advice on how I can get my feelings in order here? ---------- Post added 16th Jul 2013 at 11:36 AM ---------- Hope double-posting is okay here. Regarding the Catholic stuff above: I'm gluten intolerant. So if I wanted to partake in the Eucharist, I can't or else I'll get horribly sick. Sigh. (For whatever reason, gluten free communion wafers aren't commonplace in the Church yet.) I had my First Communion when I was 7, but nothing beyond that.
You find it discouraging/depressing that you never found another girl who clicks with you? Why? Do you feel like you have to "prove" your bisexuality to the world? To yourself?
Not necessarily "prove" to myself, but the feeling of regret is hard to ignore at times. Although on some level I do feel people wouldn't take my bisexuality seriously (just because I haven't slept with a woman). But deep down I know what other people think doesn't matter. I know what I'm about, I'm mostly content with my life as is, so I shouldn't regret anything. I guess for me, accepting all that is a case of easier said than done. I do suffer from anxiety/depression, so that's probably a factor in just letting things go and letting things be. Which is a life-long thing I've been working on.
