hello everyone. so I've been planning for quite some time to tell my parents that im gay. ... I waited for my sister to come because I feel that she and her husband would be very supportive if I told my family I'm gay. so after watching couple of youtube coming out videos I had the courage to say it. so o I waited for the moment where my sister her husband and my mom were together in a good mood and told them... I was so nervous and shaking. after telling them my sister and her husband were very supportive but when I look at mom I can see how disappointed she was she didn't say a word and said that I should see a psychiatrist I told her I don't mind but that's me. my sister tried to help me on that matter but I don't think It worked. no bible mentioning was read but she said don't ever tell ur dad or your other brothers and sister. I told her oksy I won't but I can always feel she's not accepting this. im glad they didn't kick me out.. Also my mother got drunk that night and came to me and hugged me and cried saying sorry its all her fault. I wanna kill myself I cant take this anymore. but I wouldn't do it but I think of it
Well, killing yourself is surely not the solution to a temporary problem, but you already knew that it seems. I'm sorry that your mom didn't accept you, and feels that things are her fault (which they aren't!). She might want to read this pamphlet from PFLAG, it's a very good resource for parents dealing with their children coming out. As for whether to come out to your brothers and sisters or your dad, I would say that decision is up to you, and not up to your mom. What's the reason that she doesn't want these people to know?
thank you for your reply. the reason she doesn't want them to know well for my sister, my mom thinks that she a homophobe. and for my brothers not to influence them. my main thought is that some people say when you come out you feel liberated. why don't I feel that way? do I need time maybe
Agreed, killing yourself will not help the situation. Don't do it. :eusa_naug Your mom, it takes some parents a long time to be even a little accepting or even understanding. It sounds like she's religious? That's even harder. Give it time, let her process it and keep the same relationship as you had. It's good that you have the support of your sister, keep her close. I came out to my mom in feb, she is only now to the point where she isn't sending me emails with bible versus in them every other day. It takes time, it's a process. I still don't feel entirely "relieved" at all. I think it's made it easier for me because I don't lie like I used to, but I still get anxiety when speaking my bfs name around her or using "us and we". Sometimes it may take a long time for that relief feeling, but in the end it will be worth it. Keep us updated.
Thank you very much it made me much comfortable. This is my second day since I came out and I feel better. I'll give my mother some time to process it. But I've been thinking was it a one time thing? And their never gonna talk about it? I'll leave that in time. But now I feel I can be more comfortable when in a relationship..
okay so when I went to work today, some people told me that I did something new to my face I guess deep down all the stress is gone now. as for my family like I said it was like a one time thing, so they're not gonna talk about it anymore. It's fine with me I did what I had to do.
