Last night was the longest of my life. I've never been so nervous, and I'm pretty sure I got less than 3 hours sleep. I've been awake since 5am, and I successfully came out to my mum at 8am Well, I basically broke down, scared her, then told her. It was an interesting conversation. I wouldn't say she was happy for me, but she definitely has the attitude of making an effort to understand. She said she just wants me to be honest, and happy in my life, and that's all that matters. She voiced that it wasn't her ideal situation, but she was willing to accept it. After the usual 'How long have you known?', 'How did you figure it out' questions, she went down the 'it may be phase' road. Part of me is slightly angry, but I know it's just her way of coping, and as she said herself, it was probably just her 'pulling at straws'. I'm happy, if not still very emotional, and I haven't quite realised that she now knows... We're going to tell my dad together some time soon, either this evening, or next week after our family holiday. We both think he won't really care, as nothing really shocks him, but I can see him not quite understanding for a while. Annoyingly, she did say that she wanted to keep it into the immediate family (her and my dad) for the time being, at least till Uni so I can 'truly figure myself out'. I think that's again her grasping at straws, but I'm hoping that view will go away after a while. Ultimately, I'd like for my extended family to know, but next on my list is definitely my Godmother, who I am rather close too. My mum didn't seem to agree with telling her though, at least not until I've 'experimented'. She did tell me to keep my options open, which part of me respected her for, and I was slightly angry at. I will never 100% rule out guys, I just definitely won't go searching for a relationship with one. She seems to think that my sexuality is caused by the 'small pool of fish' at my school. I don't think she's grasped that I want to date a woman, and hopefully marry one. She's always had her idealistic dream of me marrying a guy, and she admitted to me that she can't imagine same-sex relationships, but she definitely sounds like she's going to be accepting as she can. So yeah, I think it was worth it. It hasn't quite sunk in, and part of me is scared the topic will never come up again/mean things will be awkward between us. But only the future can tell that. The repetition of 'it's fine, Holly, I want you to be happy' suggests things will be good, but part of me feels like I should be happier.
Great work! I'm happy it all worked out for you. It's the norm from what I've heard that Mums especially will act like that, but they get it after a while. It's nice to hear a good coming out story and I'm very happy for you
UPDATE: My mum just told my dad, and he was super sweet about it. I thought he wouldn't give a dam, but he just gave me a hug and said it didn't matter and that I haven't changed. And then I burst into tears again... He then asked me if there was a girlfriend in the picture, and said that my mum was gutted about the lesser likelihood of grandchildren. It made me laugh. He's made me happier about the whole thing, because I honestly didn't have a clue how he would react. And then we had a group hug, which was lovely. Haven't done that in a while! Time to change my Out Status
I'm so happy for you! :eusa_danc It might be awkward at first but your mom will get used to it and everything will be normal again btw, your dad is awesome! I wish all parents would react like he did
Congratulatons, Holly! The awkwardness will fade in time. My coming out brought me a lot closer to my mom than I've ever been. I hope the same is true for you! =)
Aw its sad how parents think its just a phase. I will never understand why parents have such high expectations of their children when it comes to getting married to the opposite sex and making babies and carrying on the family name and blah blah blah...all that bullshit! Lol
I agree with this, but my mum actually explained her mindset on this. She's not disappointed because I'm gay, she's disappointed because her own dreams can't be fulfilled like she imagined them, and she can't see them happen the way she thought they would. It's like me not liking dance. She wasn't disappointed in the fact I didn't want to dance, but more so in the fact it meant she couldn't see me in dance performances. I respect her for this, and while I know the next few weeks will be her getting used to the whole idea, I think ultimately she will 100% accept me and my sexuality. Parents, I think, need to go through a realisation phase similar to how we realise our sexuality, and that obviously takes time.
Shes dissapointed at the fact HER dreams will not b fulfilled (u having a husband biological kids etc) thats exactly wat i said in my first post not that she is dissapointed that u r gay. But yah parents i guess do have to get used to their child being gay..but i really dont see why some parents make such a big deal about it..im not talking about ur parents im just speaking in general.
Wow, your parents sound awesome! I wouldn't worry about your mom, I think that is a great reaction. She loves you. I'm so happy for you that it went so well.
I still haven't got used to the fact that they actually know. Feeling a lot more emotionally stable today, I was just all over the place yesterday. I know my mum has to get used to it, and I do need to explain some further things to her - like how I want to be ope about it with everyone, buy a pride bracelet, and the fact I like girls because they're girls, not because I haven't found the right guy yet... Anyway, there's nothing like us all watching The Hobbit together last night to break the tension and awkwardness. Me and my dad then geeked out about the Tolkien books in general, and that felt really normal
Congratulations Holly! I am so happy for you and your family, and I think your mom will come full circle really soon! You are lucky to have such amazing parents!
