Thank you everyone for the recent advice. I thought I might share my experience from the other side. Well the story actually goes back several years, this friend of mine Told me that he sort of liked a guy at church But the guy moved overseas and he got a over him pretty quickly. Years went by and the guy never had a girlfriend in that time But he did profess to being slightly bisexual. I was quite perplexed I found that difficult to comprehend. Over the years though she never was showing any signs of our wanting a relationship with a woman Yes he knew that because of his religion and family she would have to get married sooner or later. However he started mentioning feelings like feelings towards men. I was pretty shocked to be honest And every now and then some guy would walk into our life whom he would feel insanely attracted to However there was no real woman out there whom he would keep talking about the same way. But for the sake of religion he tried as much as possible to forgo those feelings of male attraction. Meanwhile I was struggling having gone on a date or two with a woman but not getting far in my heterosexual life, yet he confided in me and really helped me all the same. And then a few weeks ago he finally mentioned it, he was bi he said. He wanted so much to try and love a woman and have kids so he tried not to think about men too much but it was too late. 2 weeks ago he could finally hold it in no longer. He told me in reality he wanted a relationship with a guy, since he was Christian he didn't wanna be part of the scene and go to gay bars mardi gras etc only wanted to find the right one... I was devastated... All my talk of relationship issues with women, others in the group getting married and he threw this onto me? How dare he I thought... But I saw the signs, last year a bucks night he spent more time eating than even watching the "eye candy" he turned away when the strippers came along. He never desired to have a woman or never made mention of it either. My first reaction? Well I broke down initially when I was alone like broke down in the same way as when l lost dad to cardiac arrest only years earlier. No wedding, no children no future I cried to myself. I then became angry like it was betrayal, after all the hetro talk and all the portrayals in media and he still thought being gay was cool? But then went to this website and you awesome folk told me he didn't "choose" to be gay and did a lot of research and came to accept that this is who he is... Then he told me he was going to a meeting like a coming out support group. Initially he wanted me to come but fortunately chose one of our gay friends instead. I was happy for him. Then we started talking about the situation. At first it was about how and when to come out and to who. He knows his parents and others in thr church will be angry and devastated. Unfortunately this is a fact of life that cannot be helped and he knows that... But then things got more interesting, he started mentioning his sexual fantasies and things like that. Naturally this disgusted me but I let him vent all he wanted. So just yesterday he had the meeting with the support group. Our other gay friend well he was surprised to see my friend as a gay since he never picked it but he wasn't shocked and they both shared stories and advice... We met up for dinner after the meeting and it was positive for him a good experience, it was a Christian group too. Sadly most of the stories that were shared were negative yet some were positive. The one guy who was forced by his priest to tell the whole congregation about his sexuality was a story that stuck out for me... So by and large it's been positive for him and as much as I have morals and values ill still support him... He only came out to a select few of us there's only 4 or so of us that know the truth for now... But the future for LGBT is looking bright for Australia, new government may approve same sex marriages and with celebrities like "Gok Wan" all over our television screens and big brother having more LGBTs in the house things can only be positive.. The moral I've learned to love my LGBT for who they are as they are still the same, nothing's changed. Now the only worry is how the parents and his siblings will react as they are highly religious and heterosexual too... Thanks guys...
Hopefully the siblings and parents will react exactly the same way that you did - with disapproval and lack of understanding at first, followed by understanding and acceptance. Do I wish that the first part could be skipped? Sure. However, the reality is that is not likely in the Christian world that you come from. One thing that I'm not sure if you've seen is the wonderful speech by a young man named Matthew Vines that puts homosexuality in a Christian context. More and more people, including myself, are learning that a Christian faith is not irreconcilable with homosexuality. Hopefully eventually the first part of my equation can be skipped, certainly, as a new interpretation of scripture takes hold, and the Church teaches inclusion (more likely in some places than others within my lifetime), or the individual people reject certain teachings of the Church and realize that they don't have to throw it all out.
You sound like the people I grew up with in the Sutherland Shire. I no longer live in the Sutherland Shire for that reason, and I hope that the Shireies attitudes are adapting like your are
Good on you for being a good friend and taking the time to help understand what he has gone through. Not many people could be as accepting as you And Yeah!!! Australia seems to be going in right direction! I was so pleased when Ben won big brother last year and his Boyfriend proposed!
Thanks for the kind words... You can't expect everyone to be like "oh you came out hey that's cool, good on you" because naturally here in Australia we are brought up to think otherwise. In fact no one even my gay friends took the announcement easily as it was unexpected...
