I was having a conversation with a ex-bf who criticized me about how I was still closeted even when not closeted. He pointed me at a youtube video (Social Experiment: Wearing a Gay T-shirt in Public - YouTube) where a woman experimented with just outing herself to the known universe So, last weekend I put on a LGBT t-shirt and spent the weekend shopping, at the movies, etc.. I refused to cover up and refused to take it off no matter how much I wanted to. My internalized homophobia was terrified somebody would think I was gay. I wasn't worried about violence or anything (where I live, that stuff doesn't happen).. but .. what if somebody thought I was gay?! I would literally shake as I was getting out of my car. I was so tense almost every time I would transition from private space to public space. Twice I went out to the movie theater and chickened out before going in.. But finally, I pushed through it It was amazing and probably the best thing I have ever done for my own mental health. The world now knows I am gay from the people at the coffee shop, the food store owners, my neighbors, the archery shop, etc.. I can for the first time in my life stop self editing and stop second guessing myself. I probably will stop wearing these kind of shirts every day but for now, it is good for me Next week, the gym and my doctors office.
That's great that you were able to go through with this, and I'm glad it was a good experience for you. I've also considered using a t-shirt to come out to all the people I interact with on a daily basis. However, because I am in Florida right now I am a little nervous about it. Most people I'm sure wouldn't react too negatively to it, but the small chance that something bad could happen is what keeps me from doing it. Maybe one day though!
