My Complete Coming Out Story

This is going to be long.:lol: Enjoy and please feel free to ask questions. I ENCOURAGE questions from anyone who is in a similar situation like I was, and who is curious about anything I might have been too vague about. If I can help you, you better bet I'll try my hardest.

As a Kid:
As a young kid, there were a few things that sort of seemed out of place compared to other children. Let's start at 3rd grade. I liked to do my sister's nails, play with her hair, tag along with my mom and sister when they went to get manicures, and help my mom shop for clothes at Fashion Bug. I would put on my mom's nylons and run around the house like a goofball. I was a little bit more sensitive then all the other kids around me, but in 3rd grade everyone cried when their friend told them to go sit at a different lunch table. I was also fairly masculine in nature. I played with bugs, dug random holes in the ground to make "mud soup", had GI Joes, loved the military, and went regularly with my dad to the shooting range to learn how to shoot and handle guns. At that age really, you don't keep your eye open for any "flags" because people are not binary and everyone is different. It's too early to tell anything at that point. Worth noting is that around this time (3rd-4th grade) I developed SEVERE anxiety. I wasn't able to go to school several days a week because I would wake up and freak out. I went to therapists, a hypnotherapist, and finally a psychiatrist. I was given Prozac and a low dose Valium "rescue pill" to keep me in school. This anxiety continued until 7th grade when I mostly grew out of it and learned not to let it control me.

First Serious Hints:
In 5th grade I still had my anxiety issue. I was pretty good about it and only freaked out at school about 1 time a week. I was able to go outside, compose myself, and return to class without going home for the rest of the day. One day, we were going to an assembly in the courtyard of the school when I felt something funny as I looked at my classmate Clayton. I "liked" his hair. That was the only thing I could think of at the time. I thought he was cute and I was attracted to him. Now, little anxiety-filled me totally flipped out when I felt this. I had a panic attack, composed myself, and then had another panic attack once I got home. I felt guilt, shame, confusion, and frustration. I started crying and told my mom what happened. I told her that I thought Clayton looked handsome in his haircut and that I thought I was gay and I hated it. With me hysterical and hyperventilating, she told me that two guys can like each other's haircut and not be gay. She just said I was blowing it way out of proportion and that I just needed to calm down and not worry about it. She was right, but this would turn out to be just a little more then one guy liking another's hair style. I don't remember being attracted to anyone BUT Clayton at the time, and the feelings came in bursts rather then a constant "crush" so to say.

As I entered 6th grade, I had switched schools to a charter school that was specialized and accelerated in its curriculum. It was very small, and in my classes there were probably 10-15 kids at a time. As such, I only had 3-4 close friends that I hung out with and ate lunch with on a daily basis. One of my friends Zach was probably my "best" friend, and we hung out very reliably. One day, out of curiosity I suppose, I thought about him while I masturbated and I was much more pleased by that then by what I was thinking about before (mostly just the act itself. No girls or boys). This shocked me. I wasn't really sure what it meant. I could become aroused by thinking about girls, but it was NOT the same as thinking about a few of my male friends which got me very excited. It didn't really hit me that I was gay until 7th grade or so.

The Sh*t Hits the Fan:
For 7th grade I did half at the charter school mentioned above, and the second half I completed at a different charter school. It was the same mentality with accelerated curriculum and a math/science focus. This school was much bigger then the previous, but still had only 20 or so students per class. I had a few more friends at this school, and this was the first time I was well liked and considered popular. I was NOT popular like the drop-dead gorgeous guys and girls that everyone crushed on. I was popular because I was seen as smart, funny, quiet, and out of everyone's way. I kept to myself and my friends mostly. At this point in the game, I had a very guilty feeling of dread that swirled in my head. I had a strong feeling I was gay, but I didn't want to accept it. I told myself I was Bisexual at most, and that I could have a girlfriend. I always had feelings of wanting to have sex with another guy, but always with him as the bottom. I never desired to be the bottom. I "bargained" with myself that I could have a girlfriend and just indulge in anal sex occasionally to fulfill that desire. Vaginas were not attractive to me at all. It was an absurd answer to a fairly obvious problem. About this time, I had a girl who crushed on me pretty hard. She wanted to have babies with me, and she was quite forward in her approach. It made me very uncomfortable. I dodged her every attempt I could. I knew I wanted a boyfriend, and even though my concious mind said no, it also would not let me date a girl because I knew that it wasn't what I wanted and that I would not be happy in the relationship.

Depression:
In very late 7th grade and 8th grade, I decided that I did not want a girlfriend at ALL. It was plain, I didn't like girls. I still felt the guilt and anger, but I didn't say anything to anyone. I kept it all in. Just to re-state for the record, I had become a fairly masculine kid at this point. I wasn't big or strong, but all my interests, hobbies, and personal demeanor were masculine. There was no hint that I was gay.

I clearly remember being on the computer one day taking a quiz to determine if my brain was male or female. In the preliminary setup, it asked me if I prefer male or female faces to judge based on attractiveness. I sat there and stared at the screen for 10 minutes beating myself up. "Do you prefer men's faces"? I didn't want to admit it. I felt so ashamed, so dirty. I clicked on the female face, and proceeded to realize that I had no instinctual feeling as to what was attractive in a female. It hit me hard. Just more proof that I was gay. It is worth mentioning that I felt very strong and very real suicidal thoughts during this time. I was just so depressed with my natural puberty hormonal changes, that the added stress of being gay almost pushed me over the edge. Every thing I looked at I thought about how I could kill myself with it. It made me so, so very sad. I was always too scared to do anything though. I didn't want to meet God on bad terms.

In the boys' locker room I changed in the bathroom stall in privacy, and then joined all my friends in the locker area as they changed their pants and shirts together in the same room. I liked looking at them, not in a creeper kind of way, but I admired their bodies and just lusted over them as we chatted about the next class we had or the next test we had to take. The tide was slowly changing, and I didn't feel as much guilt and shame by the time I entered the 9th and 10th grade.

Acceptance:
By the 10th and 11th grade, I had just accepted fully that I was gay. I had full blown crushes on my classmates and I thought about nothing but them when I masturbated. It was proven. I didn't LIKE IT per se, but I knew it WAS and I could not change it. I just pushed it down into a deep hole and didn't think about it. I continued to check out my classmates and lust over them. I did not have any girlfriends, and when I learned that some girls had little crushes on me, I ignored them completely and did not acknowledge their crushes. It was in this time period that I started watching some porn. At first it was straight porn, but not just any straight porn. You guessed it, I watched anal stuff almost exclusively and I was usually looking at the guy and not the woman. Then I found that gay porn was very accessible and started watching that. It was SO much better! Now generally, this is the end-all arguement for gays to accept their sexuality. If you watch gay porn, you are probably gay. :icon_wink I didn't let on to this fact at all with my friends, and as far as they assumed I was straight and just hadn't met a girl I liked. When HARD pressed for an answer to who my crush was, I named a girl from years ago who had moved out of state. When asked about a celebrity crush, I named Britney Spears. It got them off my case, and that was all that mattered really.This is the time that I started my job as a part time worker at a restaurant in town. I got along great with everyone there, picked up the routine quickly, and fit in perfectly.

Changing Winds:
In 12th grade I had mostly given up on school. I did great in all subjects BUT math. I had B+ and A+ grades in every class and a 40% F in math. :tears: Nothing I did could get me past the high level Algebra and Pre-Calculus we did in that class. For this reason I stopped going and dropped out. I pretty much despised the school by this point because I felt like they held me under water until I drowned, after repeated cries for help went unanswered by the teacher and counselor. Due to this, my mother (who had fought with me since my parents divorced 4 years prior) kicked me out of the house. She said that I was miserable to live with and that as soon as I turned 18 she wanted me GONE. So it was done. I sold almost everything valuable that I had and made a nice wad of cash in my wallet. I rented an apartment clear across town and moved in. I began working full time and enjoyed life as an adult. Now, I had to tell you all that fluff because it kind of sets the tone for what happened next. As I lived alone, I had perfect privacy. I could do anything I wanted and no one was there to do or say anything about it. I had developed crushes on the people I worked with, but again never let on that I liked them (extremely hard sometimes) or let anyone see me catch glimpses of them as they walked by. One girl flat out caught me off guard, and one day as I walked into the back area she asked me to go out with her. I stared, jaw slack and eyes wide open. All I said was "Uhhh, haha, uh no." I turned red and walked away. I felt really bad, since I couldn't explain my rejection and I did not want her to feel bad about it. It wasn't anything we could have changed either way, me or her. This was a good reason to come out, I figured. Then people wouldn't try to hit on me. I entertained the thought for a second, but promptly pushed everything back into the deep hole it was still living in.

Coming out:
By now, I had lived on my own for 4 months. I read a particular erotic fiction novel that sparked a fire in my soul. It was about a guy who went on a trip with his friend and it turned out that the friend had loved the guy just as much and for about just as long as the guy had loved the friend. They basically ravaged each other and had an awesome trip.:lol: As highly unlikely and far fetched as that was, I decided that I really wanted some romance now, and there wasn't any other way then to come out and live as an openly gay man. I had repressed my emotions and withheld my love for years and years while all my friends kissed their girlfriends in front of me and bragged about their sexual adventures. I had enough, and I wanted a romance now. The closet door was the only thing in the way! I researched coming out and the process, methods, reactions, risks, fails, etc. I came across EC fairly early on in the search. The happy stories encouraged me to come out and live like I wanted to, like I needed to. The negative stories just primed me for what could potentially happen and what I should be on the look out for after coming out. I gathered the strength and the courage for a few weeks, looking in the mirror and telling myself "I'm gay." Then I decided I was going to do it.

Dad:
Dad was the first one I told. He was the only parent I was talking to at the time and he was the most accessible. I went over to his apartment and just hung out, all the while staring into space and choking on my words. I was totally awkward and I was surprised he didn't try to interrogate me for info. I tried several times to just blurt it out, but that did not work. I went home dissappointed but not defeated. I took out a piece of paper and just wrote a short note explaining that I was done lying, I was proud to be his son, and that I hoped he would still love me and treat me the same as before he knew I was gay. I marched back over, went in, stalled a bit, and finally announced that I had to tell him something. He took the note, read it out loud, and said "Awe don't worry. You are my son and I love you more then you can imagine. I might need a little bit of time to adjust to this, but it doesn't change anything." This was the best possible outcome I could have thought of! It went fantastic! I went home and lit up a celebratory cigar, and then called my aunt to relay the news.

Aunt:
My aunt posed a different problem. She loved me and had just gotten to know me personally about 2 months prior to my coming out to my dad. She lives out of state and had just come down a few weeks ago with my uncle and cousin to meet my father and I. My dad hadn't talked to her or his brother for more then a decade because of a fight they had when I was a baby. Recently though, he had started talking to them again and had went out to visit them a few times before they came out to Arizona to meet us on vacation. My dad went to her often for advice and comfort, since she was similar to my mom and he still hasn't quite gotten over the divorce. While my aunt and I had hit it off and had a great vacation together, she was a fairly devout Catholic. This scared me, and I wasn't really relishing the thought of this new best friend disowning me and spouting Leviticus at me over the phone. I called her up and after choking a little bit, told her that I had came out to my dad just a few hours ago, and that I would appreciate it if she could give my dad some support in all this, as well as tell my uncle and cousin for me. When I told her that her Catholic background scared me, she laughed and told me that she gets in trouble at church because she will openly disagree with the pastor on topics that are set in stone within church teachings. She said she supports LGBT people all the way and that nothing different would come out of any of this.

Work Friends:
Next I told some of my closest friends from work. These were people that I worked with, but that I was so close to we would hang out as soon as we got off work and go do fun stuff or just chat in the parking lot for a few hours. I had known these people for a year at that point. All of them took it extremely well. With most of them being girls, they loved the fact that I was gay because they all loved my personality and they didn't feel threatened by me or hit on at any time. I guess it validated their feelings of security. I appreciate this fact, and I still smile inside when my female friends act completely comfortable around me. I swore these few friends to secrecy until I told a few other high value targets. This is very important in my opinion. If you tell one person who you care about very much, and they tell it to another person who you care about, the second person is going to be hurt because they heard it indirectly and they'll feel upset that you didn't tell them personally. As though they aren't "worthy" for you to tell in person, they might not trust you from then on like they used to. It makes perfect sense when you think about it...

Sister and mother:
I then called my sister and asked her if I could go over to her & my mom's house and talk. She said she was on her way home, and so I met her there after she was done with work. She is younger then me by 2 years, just for a bit better perspective. As I sat down, I told her that I needed to get something off my mind for the first time in many years. I told her that I'm gay, and she didn't believe me. She said "Are you being serious? Is this a joke or are you serious? Don't joke like this. Tell the truth, are you lying?" I reassured her that I was serious, and she was astonished. Like I said, I don't appear gay in any way, shape, or form. I gave her a short version of everything written above, and told her to tell my mom and my mom's boyfriend since I wasn't talking to them at the time. She called her up and told her, but my mom was woken up from sleep when my sis called, so after being told to call back in the morning my sis hung up and I left back for my apartment. Later the next day, I asked my sis how the call went the next morning. She said my mom was stunned and that it took some convincing that I wasn't playing a prank to get her to accept it. She took it well though, as did her boyfriend. I didn't have any doubt in my mind that either of them would have taken it badly or said rude things. They are very liberal in nature, in contrast to my more conservative nature (I told you I wasn't a gay stereotype).

More Friends:
Next I told a few more friends that were not as close as the first batch or that I couldn't get a hold of the first go around. These were people I worked with every day and had a good relationship with. I got a little creative here because I was getting tired of the stern-talking, sit-down coming out deal. For one friend I just faced the two of us into a corner and just said "I'm gay" to which she smiled and said "Congrats hun, I'm happy you told me!" For another I just smiled and said "Wanna know a secret?" to which he replied "Of course I do!" so I looked around the corner to make sure I was alone and said "I'm gay!" He said "HAHA I knew it!" kinda in a joking manner. When I said that I was serious, he laughed and said he didn't believe me. Again I assured him, and he just said "Oh wow, you fooled me good. I had no clue! Good for you man, you're a good guy." Another friend who I was very nervous about telling, got word of it from one of my first batch friends who I had now released from secrecy. He took me aside and told me that he was very sorry I believed he would judge me and not be accepting of me. He said that he loved me like a brother and that nothing could make him see me in a lesser light. He told me to tell him if anyone bashes me and he promised to break their fingers.(*hug*) Even though I wish I had just told him despite my fear, instead of putting it off until he heard it second hand, I was still happy with the way that particular coming out occured. It was nice, even though it wasn't text book perfect.

My Crush :icon_redf:
Over the course of working with this guy, I really began to crush on him hard. We had the same interests, same personality quirks, he was very funny, and he was just so handsome. Of course, I WISHED that I would come out, he would come out, and we would just make out right then and there. :roflmao: It didn't turn out that way, but it was great nonetheless. I texted him asking him if I could chat in person. He said yes and we met up in a parking lot. I choked a bit again, because the stakes were kinda higher then the previous coming outs. I told him that I'm gay, and that I hoped we could still be friends. He said that it didn't matter and that he doesn't judge anyone for anything they like or do. After that we just shot the breeze for a bit and then went home. It wasn't like my fantasy, but it was great nonetheless.

Last friend:
This last friend was very confusing and tough to predict. He and I were pretty close, but he was very "rough" around the edges. We shared in our love of guns, knives, conservative politics, and "energetic" chemistry. I wasn't sure how he would react, so I met him after work one day and made sure that I had my fighting pocket knife ready to go in my pocket if things went sour. I told him I wanted to tell him something, and asked if we would be friends no matter what. He said yes, and I told him that I'm gay. Almost as soon as I said "I'm gay" he said "Dude it's a free country. Do what you want, I don't give a fu*k." My jaw dropped and I asked if he was serious. He said yes, and I was very relieved. He thought it was hilarious when I told him I brought my knife along because I was afraid that he might react badly. In hindsight, it might have been a little overboard, but the guy is twice my size and I really was not sure of his potential reaction. I played it safe and I am glad I did. His reaction is probably the most unexpected one to date! He has been VERY supportive and tells me all the time "Dude you deserve love. You need someone to love you back. You are so much happier now that you're out. Dave and I are going to find you an awesome boyfriend. That's my mission. Only problem is that I don't know any other gay dudes beside you.":lol:

Facebook:
Finally, I reactivated my FB account after many years of dormancy since 8th grade. I went through all my friends and deleted the people who might take a coming out poorly, and the people who I didn't have any interest in rekindling a friendship with. I updated all my info, changed my sexual preference to gay, and liked a few LGBT pages. After a while a few friends commented that I had surprised them, but that they didn't care and were happy for me. One of my friends actually told me he thought I was Asexual, because I didn't show interest in anyone at all. A valid assumption now that I look back on it. One of my very conservative "Redneck" friends told my other friend that I got hacked and that my FB said I was gay. After he was told that no, I am in fact gay, he was allegedly silent for a few seconds before saying "Oh, ok then. Whatever." To date, that has been the "worst" reaction yet, and it wasn't really that bad at all! I have recently talked to this particular friend over the phone about a week ago, and he seemed totally normal like he was back in HS. He even suggested that we go to a gun show because he would like my help with picking out a good SKS for his semi-auto sporterized sniper rifle project. All my friends respect my firearms knowledge, and the fact that he requested my help shows me that he has gotten over my coming out and realized that I am still "me" and not "gay me" if you understand what I mean. The reactivation of my Facebook tied up all the loose ends and put an end to my coming out operation.


Observations:

I was afraid that my crush would not be as comfortable around me as he was before. I am still not sure if that is the case. We stopped working together shortly after I came out (he got a new job), and every invitation to hang out after I came out was either ignored or met with an excuse. I chalk it up to him being somewhat odd (he does this even to his best of friends), and to being less apt to hang out with people who aren't constantly in his life. I am kind of like that, although it doesn't take much to become very close to me. He still talks to me on Facebook or through texts, but we haven't hung out in almost a year. I have just moved on and haven't invited him to do anything in months. It is what it is and I don't know if my being gay is directly responsible. "Good friends we've had, oh, good friends we've lost, along the way, hey." - The Fugees

One other male friend (who reacted positively to my coming out to him) exhibited similar behavior. Whenever we got off work, he would say "I gotta jet" and leave right away. I would stay and talk with other friends, but he would always leave as soon as we got off work. This started pretty soon after I came out, so I might attribute it to that, but again it isn't 100% positive. I just ignored it and let him leave. I didn't take it personally. If I made him uncomfortable (because I spent years holding in my sexual urges so I MIGHT just rape someone right there on the spot:dry: HAHA) there wasn't anything I could do. It is their choice whether to feel comfortable and friendly, or skiddish and suspicious.

Every other person was totally the same or MORE comfortable around me (mostly girls) then they were before. It really made no difference at work at all. Everyone was open minded and accepting. The only person who could conceivably be considered not accepting was one girl who told me before I came out that she didn't believe in gay marriage. After I came out, she didn't say a thing, and when I asked her if we were still friends she said of course and never argued or treated me badly. She simply believed in the biblical definition of marriage and that is okay by me. She has the right to her own opinion and I was just glad that she accepted me without trying to "help" me.:eusa_naug

As I Go Along:
Now that I am out to everyone who matters or is family, I make the decision on the spot as to whether or not I want to correct someone in public. A dentist who I see every 6 months told me "Take good care of your teeth, because girls won't kiss you with bad breath." In that instance, I chose not to correct him. He doesn't need to know that I want to kiss guys not girls. It is this discretion that I now use to maintain a safety zone around myself. I DON'T see this as lying to myself, the other person, or as going back into the closet. The other person made an assumption, and incorrect assumption but still, and I simply refused to correct them. It doesn't hinder our conversation about my teeth in any way, and he really doesn't need to know. It is that simple. Plus, I don't know my dentist like I do know my friends. If I did correct him and he is homophobic, I don't want him touching my teeth again next visit! So, while I do advocate coming out, I also advocate situational awareness. Not everyone you meet has to know who you want to have sex with. It's easier, safer, and more polite I think. I hate taking a good conversation off track just to say "Actually, I like dudes."

That is where I'm at currently. Out and proud, and hoping to bump into a boyfriend along the way. As for my current "tags", I wear a thin woven rainbow bracelet on my left wrist, a rainbow pride dog tag necklace, and I wear my grandfather's gold ring on my right middle finger. All are in the hopes someone notices my gayness through my ordinary appearance.:smilewave

I believe I covered everything. It isn't a particularly fascinating story, but if someone else is in a similar situation, they can potentially learn from what happened to me and how my coming out unfolded. Please, I would LOVE comments or questions. Don't be shy, go ahead and ask away.:icon_bigg

 

Yay! A reply! (*hug*) After I typed all that up I was very afraid nobody would read it! HAHAHA

Thanks for the kind words! Accepting myself was the hardest, followed by actually telling the first few people. You know, you've kept this secret for all these years and to just divulge it non-chalantly isn't the easiest thing to do. It has gotten so many orders of magnitude better then when I was at my lowest spot in 7th-9th grade.

About the popularity, I'm glad that you are popular in the same way I was. I hesitate to call it popular, just because I wasn't a jock/clique leader/stud muffin. It was just that everyone knew my name, everyone liked my personality, and everyone came to me to solve a homework problem. There was one instance when a new kid came after winter break, and he decided that he needed to establish himself and pick someone to bully. He tried to bully me, but after I told him to piss off and everyone around me (5-6 others) started bullying HIM, he got flipped on his head and everyone ignored him the entire 2nd semester. That's the kind of thing I mean. I had friends, no bullies, people knew my name, and others would "protect" me because I was a loyal friend to everyone.

Tails, I see that you're young and already out to a few people. I'm just amazed at YOUR courage to be out at this point. I wonder what life would have been like if I had come out sooner. Perhaps that romance I desire so greatly would have had a chance to happen while I still in school. Oh well, what can I do? I see it now that even though I have a LOT of catch-up work to do (virgin and still haven't kissed ANYONE) I am in my prime time to actually start a stable relationship. I missed out on the HS dating fling, but I only know of 1 person who is still with their HS sweetheart. They are married (at 19) and if it wasn't for an unfortunate miscarriage they would have been parents as well!

 

Thanks for the reply! I wrote a short story in HS that I submitted to a competition. After a few months I had gone through Local, City, State and Regional judging and ended up being published in a collection of the best stories. I also submitted poetry that won an award, but I don't think that piece was actually published like my short story. I just love writing!

As for your own story, I'm saddened to hear about your parents. Part of the reason my coming out was so fast and furious was because I didn't think anyone except the two I mentioned would take issue with my gayness.

First, I'll say that some parents who display homophobic behavior can change their attitude once they realize someone near and dear to their heart is gay. If you have a very good relationship with your parents, it could change their mind once you come out!

It could also be that they love you and will support you, but they just won't talk about you being gay and it will just be a known fact that nobody discusses. While this isn't "good" it is certainly better then having a bad reaction and name calling or disowning going on.

If I were to have someone not take a coming out well, I would be hurt. I would be hurt inside and after that I would not be friends with that person anymore.

My mom's boyfriend's ex-wife's boyfriend (WOW!) is a conservative, religious, redneck, loudmouth son of a bitch. When I was still closeted we went to dinner at his house, celebrated Christmas eve dinner there once, and went hunting 3 times. After I came out, my mom and him had a FURIOUS arguement about gays. I have no idea what happened or what was said, but now that I know he doesn't like me simply because I'm gay, I haven't talked to him for the whole year since I've been out. He's dead too me. It's a shame, since we had really got along prior to me coming out. Oh, well. At least I hadn't come out to him and gotten that furious arguement directed at me.

I'd like to mention, now that I'm out and fully accepting myself, my first emotion that comes to light when I hear any gay bashing is anger. If I told someone that I'm gay and they took it badly, I would honestly get ANGRY and start yelling at them. Not the best, but I don't just lie down and let people walk on me. If I said to a new friend "I'm gay man. I don't like so and so since she's female" and the new friend said "oh, I didn't know you were a fag" I would honestly need to be pulled off him because I'd be busy beating the shit out of him. Same deal goes for something like "Well I don't really like what gays do and I don't believe in homosexuality". I would honestly just say "Fuck you dude, you'e a dick, don't talk to me ever again."

If your parents are your main fear, you can always come out to friends first, have them join you when you come out to your folks, and allow them to act as a positive reinforcement. Good friends will help you come out, and they won't ler your parents bad mouth you while they're sitting there.

 

Thank you very much! I was also proud to know that all of my friends were understanding and supportive. I love my friends so much. They make me laugh when I need it, but more importantly they always know WHEN I need it. I'm fiercly loyal, as are my best of friends and that plays a huge part in how much I trust them.

Also, I'm glad to see another gay person who likes guns! It saddens me that in a time with so much anti-gay violence, so many LGBT people still shun guns and refuse to learn how to protect themselves. While I'm not a member, the Pink Pistols attempts to help the LGBT community protect ourselves by training gays to use a pistol and instructing how to handle different self defense scenarios. It's a wonderful group, and I always advocate for defending life and limb. I'm 19 and already I have been in one situation where I was glad I had my pocket knife with me, and another where I had to fetch my shotgun and ensure the safety of my mother when an unknown truck followed her home, pulled into the driveway, got out and began approaching her. He got right back in the truck when he saw me in the doorway with my Mossberg 500 at low ready. :lol:

 

I'm very glad to hear that they won't disown you. Even if it is uncomfortable for a while, the freedom and happiness that you feel as a direct result of coming out will more then likely trump the awkwardness. For me, any awkwardness would have been nullified by the extreme desire to come out and seek a romance. It was really eating me up inside.

I also believe that any awkwardness would wane GREATLY as time went on. Most parents feel strange when their kid comes out because they aren't sure if they'll be different or if they'll still conform to the personality that they've come to know and love. They might also feel awkward when they think back to all the things they've said about LGBT affairs. They might feel bad because they hurt someone they love without really knowing it.

As for friends/strangers, I've thought about it for a while and I still agree with what I said before. For a close friend, I'd be surprised and hurt at the utterance of anything negative. Then I'd immediately change into a very angry mood and they'd be blackballed from my life forever or until they SINCERELY apologize and accept me for what I am. I do believe in second chances. I would want one.

After reading a few different viewpoints on random, total strangers who act in a homophobic manner, I have to say I'd most likely ignore them. I do get quite angry, QUITE easily. A random stranger has the ability to cause me GREAT anger and consequential assault which I don't want to happen due to the legal ramifications. I have already made up my mind to ignore a stranger if accosted in public. It's best for the two of us if I do that. If I'm stopped and CONFRONTED, then yeah something will probably go down. A homophobe who stops me in public probably has more on his mind then just being a prick. In that case, I'll just defend my body in accordance with state law!(!)

I fear I'm getting off track. I'll stop here so I don't go off on a tirade. :icon_bigg

---------- Post added 18th Aug 2013 at 02:19 AM ----------

Thanks! (*hug*) I try my best. Sometimes I do mess up (usually tend to cling to good friends sometimes) but they are great and forgive as easily as I do.

---------- Post added 18th Aug 2013 at 02:25 AM ----------

Thanks! (*hug*) I am SURE you'll do great! It says under your avatar that you are out to 2 friends already! You have already started the process my friend!

I did build up a lot of momentum when I finally decided to come out. I just did NOT want to have many friends finding out from one another. I wanted it to be ME who told the most important people. I think that is very important in the grand scheme of things. To be honest, I loved how I just did it and was done with it. Best way in my opinion. It was like ripping a bandage off. Very easy and I didn't have to swear anyone to secrecy for more then a week or so. I trust my friends, but people are people and loose lips sink ships.

Trust in yourself! (*hug*)

 

Thanks! It did turn out very well and I am very grateful for it!

---------- Post added 21st Aug 2013 at 01:38 PM ----------

Thanks! The crush was hard because he's straight (at least he says, I think otherwise) and there was no way I could do anything. I just wanted him there to cuddle with me and do cute stuff like watch the meteor shower or go hiking into nowhere. It makes me yearn for him whenever I think about it. Ugh! WHY CAN'T HE JUST LIKE GUYS?!:tears: