So...I'm at college in my third year. Finally decided to face the facts and let my folks know but since I was heading off to University, I figured it would be sort of good to come out to my parents through a letter and then them contacting me. Yeah...anyway, about half an hour before I left: I sealed the note in an envelope and on the envelope, I put And then I left... I moved in fine and everything and then four o' clock came: I was like "I don't even want to keep my phone with me" but that text that would make or break my day never came and I panicked. Fast-forward 7 and a half hours. I was playing cards with my friends and I received a text from my mom saying that I'm still her Randall and she will always love me. Basically this is how the text conversation went down (M is Mom is R is Randall): Aug 24, 2013, 23:42 M: You're still my Randall and I will always love you. R: I had no issue but there were sometimes when I had my doubts. M: But are you really sure? You're not even outside of college. College is like a bubble of the world. What are you doing tonight? When did you tell [brother]? R: I'm really sure. I don't think I've been sure of anything else. I'm playing cards and I told [brother] sometime in June. M: Well, he's good at not telling us. But, then it wasn't his place to inform us of this information. I'm not telling [grandmother] cause she always saying things about [Uncle]. She might think he might have influenced you. R: To be quite honest, that's quite what I would have expected you to think. But I know you're not your mother. M: Well, mothers do wonder about these issues. You need to know it was me who found out [Uncle] is gay. Dad had no clue. R: Omg I said omg because the Uncle in this little story is on my Dad's side so when I read that, I was...I was pretty awestruck. In fact, I was pretty awestruck at all of this. Looking back, like two months ago, I don't think I should have had any worries; however, all in all, I'm pretty glad I did it this way. So my fear of me being kicked out onto the streets have been quelled by all of this. Afterwards, my heart was racing and I was asked if I was okay. I was more than okay, I was awestruck and exhuberated So that was my coming out story. If I had to give advice to people coming out of the closet, it would be this: Just trust your parents, they know and love you the best, in other words, don't worry about it. Heaven knows, waters were tested a bunch of times and gave me doubts, but this situation went alright. Your parents will probably change/will change their views when their kid comes out as gay or transgender.
An excellent story. Thank you for writing this. I am going into third year at my university and so I can say the situation is similar. I'm really glad your mom was able to accept you
That night...I thought it went well because of how well she responded that night. Now I have no clue what the hell she is thinking. I just received a text from her basically saying my note was a form letter (which it was) and those words are not my words. The day before, I got a text from her basically saying that: I'm in college, everybody wonders about their sexuality at some point, they'll see how I feel after college, she'll pray for me, blah blah blah. The text I got from her today, I responded with: Ya know what? Let's forget this. I think that'd be best for all involved. I'm scared shitless and I don't know where to go from here. So what turned into a night of Kumbaya turned into a big huge clusterfuck.
It strikes me that you can't be responsible for what someone else is -or isn't - thinking. But you can take care of what you think. So stay strong and remember that it might take a while for your mum to catch up with you.
Allow her time to flip/flop over this... she is going through a process. I'd say give her lots of leeway and don't take anything too black and white right now. You both have to adjust and it won't happen immediately. the main thing is that you know (about you) and you have come out - be proud of that !!
Sometimes the shock sets in after the initial event. You're so strong for letting her know in the first place and you should just keep strong. She'll come around, I think she just needs some more time to sit on it, as seeing what you said she was okay with it.
Oh that's fantastic news! I was thinking about you on the day and hoping it went well, I'm really pleased for you! Now get out there and enjoy the beginning of the rest of your life! (*hug*) Don't worry about the aftershock of coming out. Remember that your parents need as much time to get used to the idea as you did. They'll come around to the idea, just make sure to be strong in their convictions and never give any hint that you might have been wrong. They just have to get used to it. Good luck. (&&&)
