I was already out with no issue to my parents, grandfather, and best friend. Tonight, I went a little bit further. I told someone from my dojo (my dojo is one thing I've worried about a lot. My dojo mates are like family to me). I knew he wouldn't have a problem with it, because I'm starting to suspect that he is a closeted gay himself. I made some joke about how I'd finish watching the Matrix trilogy when I was done with my French lesbian films... then he said "What? I don't get what you just said!" And I said "I just came out to you." Awkward. But after that, he was really supportive. I told him about how being afraid to write about it was restricting my creativity, and he suggested that I make a pen name and submit as an alter identity. That way, I'm safe but still open for now, and I have time to figure things out. He told me that one day, those identities would mesh into one, and I would know the time was right. Then he reminded me that telling him was one step closer. I'm really glad I talked to him. It feels like I'm no longer suffocating under the weight of this big thing that I don't want to face.
