I planned for a week or so that yesterday would be the day I'd come out. I had support from a few friends, and I planned to write a letter, and then disappear to my son's dad's parents. I wrote this letter to my mum Then, when it was time to leave, I slipped the letter through the door quietly so no one would hear it, and ran like hell down the street with my son. Shortly later, I received this text from my mum And that's that. It's okay. They've not got a problem. We've not spoken since then. It's just a big elephant in the room. I feel a bit flat and headfucked now...
Glad your mum gave such a positive response! I'm sure things between you and your mum will get easier as time goes on, I bet it feels like a big weight off your shoulders x
Well done, that's great! You did tell your mum in the letter that you didn't want to have a big discussion about it, that's probably why she hasn't said anything to you. Also, because to her it sounds like it's not a big issue. If you want to talk to her about it just do it, it sounds like she'll definitely be supportive as she's already shown that in her text.
It seems like your Mum has it right. I haven't got there with coming out to my parents yet but coming out to my friends from my Actors Group felt quite flat too - because what felt like such a massive thing wasn't for them, I have continued to be the person to them that I was before they will probably never have a sense of how much their reaction means to me. I think that for so many of us of sexuality is our big, dark, terrifying secret but the people we care about see a full picture of us, the person beyond the sexuality and someone's coming out doesn't change the person they know. As for your Mum, how parents actually want to think about the sex life of their children or think about their children in terms of their sex life? If anyone thinks of us in non-sexual terms, it really should be our parents! I think that the flat feeling of coming out (I am feeling it too at the moment) actually comes from the fact that being secretly gay feels so terrifying that part of us believes coming out will end all our problems but in truth, if we were never defined by our sexuality, if we were always the whole person that people see, then we're still them when we're out and our sexuality becomes the incidental thing it always should have been anyway.
