So, I came out to one of my oldest friends (who now lives in another state) in honor of today. It was the first time I told someone in real life. Or, well...text message. I'm sort of (massively) freaking out. He's gay, and he's been out for years, but I'm not sure how he took it. I texted him a picture of a bi-pride bracelet I wear because he was too busy to talk on the phone. I said that I wanted him to know, because he told me. He just responded, "So what? You're a lesbian now?" and I'm afraid he's mad that I didn't tell him sooner. It took him awhile to respond, and that's unusual. Now he's not texting back, and I'm starting to think it was a bad idea. There's no reason for anyone to HAVE to know today. I'm with a guy right now. It's not like I'm looking to date a girl at the moment. Was it stupid of me to do this out of the blue, just because I wanted someone to know? I feel like an idiot. :help:
What a jerk. If you were there for him when he came out to you and he's not.. That's awful of him. He should know what it feels like to come out. If you're not ready to come out and if you don't need to, since you have a boyfriend, then don't. But if you know that people won't mind, I don't see why you shouldn't. It would be out of the way.
Thanks. He's not really a jerk...totally. Lol. I can see his perspective if he is angry. He told me seven years ago, and I've been questioning since before that. I also publicly identified as "straight" when I was pretty sure I wasn't. He was much braver and more upfront about it. I'm not good at sharing, so it took me longer. Here's hoping I'm just blowing things out of proportion.
he should just accept that it took you longer to work your self out i suspected i was bi at 13 didnt act on it till 18 and didnt start coming out about it until 20! to take wisdom from the great mind of Dr Zeus "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." ok so i know its not that simple especially when you thought it was someone you could rely on but thats life for some reason its never easy but it gets easier and some people will surprise you the other way round i told a a straight girl who is a good friend of mine (but who i sort of have a MASSIVE crush on) yesterday and she just said well done and that we were cool dont worry about it take your time peace x
(*hug*) no reason at all to feel bad! I came out to a guy friend while i was still with my boyfriend, and he LAUGHED! for like 10 minutes straight! I thought for sure it was a mistake, and that since I had a boyfriend there was no need to come out- not like I was looking for a girl to date, like you said. Well I was wrong. After he got over himself and became serious about it, it was SO nice to have someone to talk to. I felt like I had suppressed a huge part of myself without realizing it. Just knowing that SOMEONE knew, made me feel so much better. Now when i'm with him its okay if I talk about hot girls, or debate if i should come out to anyone else, or just to know that someone out there knows and understands me. I still think he's a self centered, narcissistic, drama queen, but when it comes to my sexuality he becomes a serious friend. this may not be the case with your friend, but give it a little time and see if he comes around. If he doesn't come around, then im sorry I hope that the next person you tell can really appreciate how much courage it takes and understand that not everyone can just jump right out of the closet right away. All that being said, I DONT think it was stupid- its okay to want someone to know, and its okay that you confided in him. Its not your fault if he didn't receive it well, but It's your right to share that information whenever you want to, and with whoever you want to. Also, I think you could just be fearing the worst. When it comes to coming out, Its easy to panic and assume that others are reacting badly to it, when really they arent. I hope it all works out (*hug*)
Can be a multitude of reasons he hasn't replied - like perhaps he's being chased by a lovesick squirrel. But seriously - he knows what it is like to be in your shoes - perhaps with different bits. I am sure he knows what it feels like and that he will be supportive of you. Keep positive Things are only going to get better for you.
Thanks, everybody. You guys are awesome. I really appreciate your wisdom and compassion, and general fabulousness. My friend and I had a good talk and we're completely okay. He was just very, very surprised and confused. He called and was very supportive, he just didn't see it coming at all and was a little blindsided by it. But we talked it through, and he's on board. He was more worried that I'd bottled this up for so long. I'm worried that he's been to 3 Pride events this year and doesn't know what the bisexual flag looks like. Apparently, we need to do more PR. Thanks again to all of you. I can't tell you how much it helps to have you guys here. (*hug*)
" we need to do more PR " how good is lgbt support and awareness where you are i just moved home from uni and its alot better here than it was in my uni town
It's kind of nonexistent in the city I live in, but the larger cities around me are pretty great. The town my friend and I come from is a tiny, rural, festering sore of racism and homophobia. We got out as fast as possible. Lol. I'm glad your area is supportive, at least. Hopefully, it will spread.
