Some of you may be somewhat familiar with my situation, but for those that aren't, well, here's a quick recap. So I live in a rather intolerant area that doesn't accept the lgbt community, my parents are extremely religious, my mom has forced Christianity on me my entire life, and up until now, only a couple of online friends knew that I was gay. Today, however, my mom pulled me aside and told me that she had read my journal, in which I frequently talked about being gay. I was beyond horrified when she told me this. Luckily, she wound up taking it better than I thought she would. I originally thought she would have cut off all communication with me and kicked me out of the house. Instead, she told me that she loves me, but doesn't agree with the lifestyle that I'm "choosing". She also is still going to force me to go to church. I wound up talking with her for nearly four hours or so. Turns out she also spilled the beans to my dad, and he took it fairly well. He just seemed a little sad for me. I mean, it's not the best reaction, but it's way better than what I thought it would be. I'm a little disturbed though that she intruded on my privacy and read my journal... what do you guys think?
I think it is a real shame that your privacy was breached. It strikes me that the real challenge though is the future, now that your parents know. I'm glad that the reaction was better than you hoped, but it will clearly take some more time in which I hope your parents will come to fully accept you. Best of luck and keep smiling!
Shame on her! But on the other hand, it may have been best. You had to tell them some time, and the sooner it happened, the sooner they'll fully accept you.
First of all it's so wrong your mum read your journal that is private to you she should have asked you if she thought anything was up with you not read your innermost thoughts I'm sorry but again so wrong!
I also agree that it's wrong a parent should never do a thing like this. It does seem like, while they are not supper happy about it, they are somewhat understanding. Which is a positive note to come out of it all. Maybe in time they will see that this is who you are and you will have a happier, more fulfilled life by being true to who you are.
In my late teens, my mother opened my mail once. Needless to say, I kind of lost it on her and gave her the height of shit (I swear it must have lasted half an hour). She never did that again.
This sucks and I'm sorry for you, Max. On the bright side, they took it probably about as well as they could have given their religious views. And now you don't have to worry anymore about how and when to come out to them. At some point, you may want to have a discussion with them about respecting your privacy. But I'd save that until this isn't quite so fresh on everyone's minds.
Your mom shouldn't have done that and some of her views are still LGBT ignorant, but on the upside she still loves you and her reaction was alright ... a big step in the right direction for you both... maybe find a better hiding place for your diary
It's good that they are taking it OK, but as the others have said, my parents have learned the hard way not to invade my privacy...so well done for being restrained I guess...
wow, im really sorry she totally disrespected your privacy like that, do you have a personal computer or just account on a family computer? something that has a password only you know, i might recommend switching your journal to a computer one so she can't do it again. I'm also sorry she didn't take it that well but i'm sure she'll accept you eventually
As a parent, I would only read any of my children's diaries if I held concerns regarding their welfare due to behavioural changes. Otherwise, I give them their privacy. I could not keep anything private because my mother does not believe a child has any right to privacy of any sort. She constantly went through my bedroom looking for anything that she was against...anything at all. I'm glad that your parents are taking it much better than you thought they would.
We can't really say why she did it. If it's there it could have been a case of a quick peak with the word "gay" being spotted, leading to further reading. However, if I were you I would want to keep convincing her that it is not a choice. The sooner religious people understand this and get the basic concept that nobody would want to choose to have to live with such increased difficulties in life, the quicker they can accept you and realise that it really does not matter in any sense.
That is almost exactly what happened to me! I made a thread about it a while ago. Pretty much my stepmom mistook my journal for a book I'm writing, and two pages in found out I was gay. She approached me about it while we were alone in the car, but since she has about the same views as your mom I told her "I don't want to talk about it after this." And after that we've been acting as if my sexuality is unknown! I suppose my frostiness has a sort of power... Anyhow, a while ago I decided I didn't want a repeat, so I tore up my old journal and am making the switch to electronic. I suppose it was a good thing, as she didn't tell anyone else, and it sorta motivated me to tell my friends so I would have some positive support.
I had a similar situation and a similar reaction (my mom read my "coming out letter" on my "notes" page on my phone, which I never intended to send to anyone). My "incident" only occured about 3ish months ago... But so far, I can attest that there is hope for your parents to furthermore accept you. I live in a very tolerant area, but my mom is deeply religious.... Just last week she said to me, "I guess you really aren't going to change your mind about being gay", which is better than her initial reaction of, "how could you do this to me? I raised you right". It is horrible that your mom infringed on your privacy, but there is no going back in time. At least you do not have to agonize over coming out to your parents anymore.
Well, I thought it was an ok hiding place, I mean, it was under my mattress inside of an otherwise empty pillowcase, but I guess my mom was bound and determined to find it. As far as switching to electronic like someone else suggested, I could give it a try, but my mom is rather tech savy and knows all of the passwords for everything except my EC account. It might work though if I change my computer password and don't tell her about it.
I write everything in Nazcaän. Or Theban. I used to use Gnomish, but that was too easy to crack. I want to try Hylian. My point is, there are plenty of "alternative alphabets" and unless you know the name of the alphabet it would take some effort to break. Some even have their own subtle rules like writing right to left or w actually being written as uu. Today my friend tried to read something in my planner. I talked about having a crush on somebody I referred to using what were clearly masculine pronouns. He decided it was some kind of satanic invocation.
Do you keep a journal because it's cathartic for you in a location that might be a little oppressive? Anything kept around the house or on a computer can be seen. A guy I know who was divorcing had his daughter use his laptop and she stumbled into what he had been downloading. The dam was beginning to break. I wouldn't keep a journal, going forward, unless you have a compelling reason to do so.
It's a shame that they had to invade your privacy- but I'm glad every turned out okay for you. EDIT: 200th post achieved.
