Well, I really seem to chose my people well... Came out to someone else today and it was pretty rubbish and I wish I hadn't done it now, but I suppose I really need to start getting comfortable with myself so looking on the "positive" side, at least it's one more person who I have talked to about it. Not that I'm going to talk to her again. Anyway, having a bit of a hard time at the moment and I was stupid and went to talk to the school nurse because I got myself really stressed before my exam. So we chatted for a bit, and I don't really know her that well, but I was really stressed and for some unknown reason I told her. It wasn't that she was wierd about it, she seemed okay, but some of the things she said were so ignorant, something that I really didn't need! Pretty much the first thing she said was oh well, you never know, things might change, you might stop getting these feelings in the future. Then started some bull about how she has been "close" to other females and it didn't mean anything. I didn't say anything to her, just because I was so angry and upset. I mean why would I tell people if I wasn't sure. Also she seemed to be implying that I hadn't thought any of it through and it was just a passing phase. It's just really fustrating. Surely if I was straight then the four years of trying to convince myself I was straight would have worked and none of this would be happening!! But the good news is she doesn't think I need councilling?? I was just thinking, am I supposed to be happy that you don't think I'm all screwed up?? Seriously, she just pissed me off so much. I know she was trying to be "nice" but it didn't work. I just wish I hadn't told her now because it's just made me feel worse and even more stressed. She pretty much managed to say all the wrong things. I am so amazing at picking who I tell. Still, out of the five people who know now there is only one who has been at all helpful or supportive. Why is it I manage to judge so badly how people will react or what they will say?? Oh and I managed to totally fuck up my exam, I am so shattered, tense, can't concentrate, lost my appatite and just want to give up with all this! So.. there we go... Hope you all had a good day anyway!!
Hey, there are people out there that will spit on you for being gay. Whether if it's metaphorical spit or real spit. I suggest you talk to her, say "That hurt me when you said it was a phase". Problems can only be worked out by talking it out. Hey, don't give up. I'm always here, remember?
I had a great day, thank you. Haha don't let stuff like that get you down. you said yourself she said all the wrong things... so what are the right things to say? When you know just keep telling yourself them And at least you can sue her lol.
Even if it didn't personally benefit you (it actually hurt you), remember that total acceptance of homosexuality can only be achieved when people like you break down barriers and come out. So look at the bright side, you're at least helping a cause.
It's just one person's opinion right ? Everyone has one. You just have to choose the one's you want to take and go with it. You can't always be happy with people's reactions but it's better to have tried than to have done nothing at all.
(*hug*) I'm sorry you're finding things so tough at the moment. Try not to let what this nurse said hurt you so much, you know how you feel and nothing she can say will change that. Every coming out experience will be difficult, and some reactions will be good and some will be bad, but hopefully all of them will help you feel more secure about who you are so don't be put off trying again
Hi! Sorry that this happened to you. It could be that the nurse tried to be supportive in her own way not realizing that you have already come to terms with your identity. Don't stress out about it. As Davo indicated, in coming out to others we will get all kinds of reactions. Some of them will be good, others will not be as good. Having said this, all coming out experiences will help you in becoming more comfortable about yourself. Often we can not predict what kind of reaction(s) we are going to get but in some strange way, all reactions make us stronger. Although, you were bothered by the nurse's comments, look at if from the bright side: you've come out to another person! About the exam: Don't stress out about it. I'm sure you did fine. Hope this helps!
Hey, I know you've been having a really hard time at the moment, so this hug is for you (*hug*). I think that you have been extraordinarily unlucky in who you have come out to so far - like I've said to you before, in the case of your friends, I think that a part of it is their ages, and you coming out to them may, in fact, have been the first time that they have had to actually confront the issue of homosexuality and figure out exactly what they think about it. It seems to me that the with the nurse, she was trying to help, but clearly doesn't understand that she wasn't at all. I'm really not quite sure what her comments were about being "close" to other women were about (surely slightly inappropriate? I don't know) - unless she is actually a closet lesbian herself and in denial :lol: (ok, actually that's not funny). But I think that, surely, she would have realised that you'd know the difference between closeness and being a lesbian? But it sounds as though she wasn't sure what to say, had never had someone come out to her before, perhaps felt a little uncomfortable, and knows very little about homosexuality. It also sounds like she was inadvertently quite patronising too, which must have been annoying, especially as coming out to yourself and her demonstrates a large degree of maturity on your part. Not that this will help you feel better, but in terms of your friends and this school nurse, I think you have to try and just think of yourself in terms of a trailblazer - as in, although you have got little help from them, hopefully you coming out to them will mean that the next person they come across who is also gay will get treated that bit better than you were. This obviously has no immediate effects for you, but maybe you can gain a little - if only a little - comfort from the very undeniable fact that you have been educating people when you have been coming out to them. I think that I have been mostly lucky thus far in that the majority of people I have come out to have had people come out to them in the past: and therefore, they knew what to say, and what not to. The negative reactions have come from those for whom I was the first to come out to them - it is therefore an issue of education. But it just totally sucks that you have to be the one to educate them, at the same time as dealing with your own emotions . I'm really sorry about that. When I think back to when I was your age, I didn't know of anyone who was openly gay, and no one I knew knew anyone who was openly gay either. In fact, *gasp*, the first gay person I met (who I knew was gay) I met at the age of 21. This is similar to many of my friends, actually. Therefore, I think part of your problem is the fact that you've had the maturity to recognise your situation and start to come to terms with it earlier - it seems so frustrating that that should put you in this position! But what is in the past is in the past, and you need to just try and see it as a learning experience, in that now you are that bit more used to negative reactions, if that makes sense. But in the future, you should perhaps only come out to people who seem to already know what they think about the issue, and also, to people who already know another gay person. Because I think that the first time someone comes out to you it's really hard to know how to react, and you don't want to always be the first gay person people come across. In a kind of unrelated issue, I think that schools should have guidelines for dealing with things like this. I know that now schools in the UK have to prevent homophobic bullying by law (although we know that doesn't work), but I think that Section 28, which I went to school under, and teachers' fears of even discussing it, probably still seeps over, in terms of that there are no infrastructures in place. Plus, they're probably worried they'll have parents compaining or something if they say the wrong thing. But the nurse should at least have a list of numbers that she could have given you to call or something? Or leaflets? But sorry, this is off-topic now! But I hope you're feeling better than you were the other night (*hug*)(*hug*).
I'm really sorry (*hug*) That nurse sounds very sub-standard. But I think everybody gets that phase shit from a least one person. You just have to chalk it up to experience. (*hug*) It'll go better another time, I promise.
Sorry to hear that... the nurse isn't really understanding. I have too many shitty coming outs. Bleh - some of my coursemates really couldn't take the fact at all. Well, I leave them alone and not bring up this topic and not argue about it.. and I'll say, "ooh, that's cool!"
Awwww. I'm so sorry. That's rough because you took a risk telling her and she blew it. I guess it's good that you're getting used to different reactions and stuff, so you're not unprepared. Don't listen to her. YOU know whether it's a phase, YOU know what's going on. She's a stranger that's uncomfortable because you're different than her. She was also probably a little taken aback by your proclamation. It's okay. I have a feeling everything will work out in the end. (*hug*)
Hey, thank you all so much!! Seriously I appreciate all of you so much - I don't think I would have got through my exams without all you guys and a place to just be myself and release all the mad thoughts going through my head!! I have finished my GCSE's now, so hopefully things will lighten up a bit. I just have to work out what to do next. I don't like being in the closet as I hate hiding such a large part of me, but then again I'm really scared about how the people around me will react. So I suppose I'm just going to have to see how it all goes and grab any good oppertunities to come out with both hands!! So thanks again and hopefully it will all work itself out soon!!
