I'm not even sure if this is the right forum to post in, since I don't need any advice, I'm just telling story. Anyways, when I came out to my mom, she had already knew that I was gay. She said that she knew before I even knew what the term gay meant. Anyways, when I came out to her, even though she already knew, she still took it really hard. She even tried to get the pastor to "change" me. I don't understand it. That was four and a half years ago. She's totally okay with it now. I was just wondering if any of you would know why she took it like that, even though she already knew?
Just because she knew didn't mean she was accepting...she probably saw it as some sort of illness you had that she could cure. I'm sorry you had to go through that but I'm glad she's come to a place of acceptance and hopefully the two of you can start over building an even better relationship from here
It sounds like she thought you were going through a phase, that this wasn't permanent or maybe you were going through confusion. By saying she knew, I think she meant she had an inkling, but you confiding to her confirmed her worst fears. As indecorous as it may be your mother's concerns were legitimate, and since you were so young she probably assumed you were imitating the gayness you've undoubtedly been exposed to. A mother's love is the strongest bond, so it's not surprising that she's come to terms with it, but seeing as gays are reviled by a large enough populace of America I think you should look at it from her standpoint. The solutions she proffered weren't born from hatred but rather a concern for you. Trust me your mom handled it better than you could expect most parents too. Especially in this day and age when homosexuality is thrusted on us on so many levels.
When a person has a child, they have a whole pre-determined life set out for them in their minds. If that kid comes out as gay, it shatters that whole perception. Some parents can adapt and just love their child too much to be angry with them. Others love their children but can't really let go of their idea of how your life should be. They might also be afraid for you as a gay person due to all of the hate and violence. I'm glad that she accepts you now without issue. Sometimes actually hearing it is the straw that breaks the camel's back. I knew my parents were going to get divorced long before my mom decided to petition. They just hated each other, and I knew it wasn't long. The day they actually sat down and told me they were getting divorced and my dad was moving out, I tried not to cry but I ended up going into the garage and crying my eyes out the whole time I cut up wood for a project I was working on. The saw drowned out my tears. Why did it matter that I actually heard them say? I don't know, but when it is finally said, it hits you in entirety.
Thanks for all of the insight, guys. You guys are awesome. This has always been on my mind, and I just wanted to clear it up. I might even ask my mom about when I go home this Christmas.
