Hi all, This is my first post, but I really felt like i should share my story as I have been using EC without being a member for some time. Reading many of the coming out stories, advice and positive respones really helped me on my journey and I finally came out in October. Hopefully my story will help or maybe inspire others in a similar situation. It is long though! I am 27 years old, so I am not young. I always knew I was gay, even before I understood the concept of being gay. I was raised in a very loving and supportive home, but also a very religious one. I grew up, like many other glbt people, believing that being gay was wrong, and unnatural. I even remember as a young teen vocalising these opinions, of course these were really the opinions of my family, and of the church. I was really aware of being gay in my late teens and early twenties, but for a variety of reasons I decided that I could and also that I wanted to surpress my feelings. So that's what I did. After University I moved abroad, during this time I had a serious relationship with a girl. I tried my hardest to supress my feelings, I really wanted the relationship with her to work. After about 9 months, I decided that I had to break things off because I loved her so much that I didn't want to string her along. This was the first time that supressing my gay feelings had a negative effect on my life I moved to a new country, becaus of work. I had decided that I would have no relationships, I thought I could continue to hide my gay feelings and live single. Then I met another girl, right fromt he beginning there was something there, we got on so well and as time passed and our friendship strengthened one thing led to another and we decided to start dating. Again, I can truly say I love her, I still do, she is an amazing woman but our romantic "relationship" lasted days, I broke it off. For me this was the beginning of asking myself a lot of hard questions. We stopped seeing each other for a few weeks. It was hard because we had been so close. After maybe a month we chatted, made up and were back to our old ways. On my own, I had been struggling with the prospect of coming out, about a year passed, we became even closer and I finally began to accept that I was gay,I had to tell someone. I traveled home for a short holiday and on a whim I told my brother, it was one of the most amazing moments of my life, he was so accepting, his response was better than I could have imagined. When I returned, I told my friend, her response was also great, she was proud of me and happy and i knew at that moment that I had made the right decision. I am gay and I was finally able to be truthful to the people I cared for the most. At this point I finally accepted myself for the first time in my life. This was during the Summer of 2013. I returned home in the late summer months, I waited for the best time and eventually told my sister, we are so close and she is very liberal like myslef and my brother, she was supportive and happy for me, she really listened to my story and again I felt validated. In October I finally told my parents, with my brother and sister by my side. I had built it up in my head and was expecting the worst. It wasn't that bad! My parents were accepting (to a degree) and told me that they would love and support me no matter what. This is a cut down version of the most important points in my coming out journey. I am very happy now, much happier than I have ever been. The things I have taken from my journey are: coming out is difficult but it is usually a lot worse in your mind than in reality. Also, (and i know this is easier said than done) don't wait, tell someone, the relief and the happiness it brings are unreal.
Bud, you've got a great story. It took me 4 years to realize that I'm gay and not bisexual, even while being in a gay relationship. I realized that I can have women as friends (and my best and closest friend is a girl) and that women can be pretty and beautiful, but not attractive. And thus, I realized that I'm 100% gay.
Thanks, gaytheist I appreciate it. I think its important for people to understand that you can have really deep and meaningful relationships with people regardless of their gender, orientaion or sexuality. I have really affectionate relationships with girls but it doesn't mean that I want a romantic relationship. It's good that you realised that so young, it took me a while!
