1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

something like a resolution

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by pansy, Jan 2, 2014.

  1. pansy

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2013
    Messages:
    36
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    I tend to be really guarded about personal parts of me, and have considered my sexuality very personal in the past. I was of the opinion that it's not anyone's business and I should allow people to believe I'm straight if there's a benefit in it.

    Lately that's just felt very opposite of how I want to be. I don't think it makes someone a liar to be closeted, but reaching the realization that every time I didn't correct someone or replaced "he" with "she" when talking about this, I was hurting my self more than anyone else.

    So a resolution this year is to avoid doing that. I won't punish myself if I think it's an unsafe situation, but I'm not going to continue blatantly being dishonest and ashamed of it.

    Yesterday at work, the very first day of a bright new year, a coworker and I were chatting on break, on the issue of relationships. She's recently split with her male partner of a few years so it's something that she talks a lot about, and he's been drunkenly pestering her via text and internet, including on new years eve. My ex called me on new years eve as well and I told her it's been a lot longer since HE and I broke up, but that I don't let HIM get to me anymore because I recognize it was a bad relationship and HE is trying to manipulate me still.

    I started feeling shaky because I was telling it how it really is, but she didn't even flinch, she acknowledged I was talking about a guy and we continued a pretty insightful conversation (I assumed once I said it she'd get awkward and find something else to talk about but nope). I know she's a very open minded and trustworthy person so afterwards I was kind of on a high like this weight got lifted off me, because I've been working with her for over a year and never said anything like that.
     
  2. KWDBM

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2014
    Messages:
    250
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Arizona
    Good for you! I definitely know that shaky feeling right after you say it, and I'm really glad it turned out to not be an issue. I've been there so many times; Nervous about telling someone, and it ends up totally a non-issue. Even though there's that nervousness, I *like* those encounters because it gives me confidence to tell others. I hope it will do the same for you.