Coming out to my conservative parents.

A few months ago I moved to a new country. Before that, I was only out to a couple of friends. I decided to do things right and be open about it from the beggining so I never really came out (I just talk about the guys I like and my relationships as openly as everyone else and no one seems to care).

However, I have been raised in a Catholic conservative family, so they didn't know anything about it. I was particularly scared of telling my father, since he is nearly 80 years old and was raised under a completely different mindset (Also we are both really stubborn, hot- tempered people so things could get out of control very quickly). At home, jokes about gay people were common and my father will usually call us by really unkind names. That didn't help and all I always wondered if he really meant it.

The thing is that, after coming back to my parents house for christmas, after 6 months abroad, I realised that I was distancing myself from my family. I was way happier away from home. After thinking long hours about it, I started to feel really guilty, because they didn't know anything and I was just asuming that they won't accept it. I came to the conclusion that I was loosing them anyway, and that it was only my fault and unfair to them.

So yesterday I decided that I needed to go for it, and that If I could tell my father I would be ready to tell anyone. After spending hours (literally) sitting by his side, It happened, I was terrified and I couldn't say a word, but he realised that something was wrong.

He asked me if I was OK. I answer that I was, but was obvious I wasn'tt. Then he grabbed my hand and said that he didn't mean health-wise tbut emotionally. So I was unable to cope with it anymore and told him... That I am not comfortable at home, that I am homosexual and that I have worked very hard to make them proud of me. He quickly said that I was being stupid, that that makes very few difference, that he is very proud of me, and asked me to remeber what the Pope recently said about gay people. Then he asked me to never again think about not coming back home, and if I wanted him to tell mum or anyone.

This morning my mother came to me and told me that she heard us talking, that I don´t need to tell her anything and that she already knew it anyway. She also said that its not a problem and that I did very well in telling dad first, that he is really "happy" about that.

I can tell that none of them are happy about it, I am not stupid, I know it will take them some time to recover from the shock (my mother said that exact thing about my father, but I know it is the same for her). Overall I am really proud of them, they were raised to see homosexuality as a sin and as something wrong but they are doing their best to put that aside just because they love me.

I still have a long list of people that I want to tell but now the worst part Is over. I don´t know if this story would help anyone and I understand that it may not be the same for everyone, but I would like to advice everyone not to assume how people will react. The answers may well be much more possitive than expected. In my case it seems that I was Indeed the most prejudiced one.

Best wishes! xxx

 

Thanks for the answers guys, I just felt that I should share it.

KidNZ: Hahaha thewre are quite a few typos there but thanks i guess, beeing a non native speaker, I'm really paranoid about getting things right!

Thanks Greatwhale, I know it must be very difficult for them and thats why I am really proud of them (if that makes any sense). I was the one shying away from them becasue I stupidly felt rejected, now that I know they are willing to accept me I can go back to the relationship that we had before.

I will be infinitely happy if this helps anyone!Thanks to everyone guys and girls