Telling Daddy...

Well I have actually not been on this web site in a long while which is horribly of me considering it actually helped me and I did not really give back to it. I shall sum my life up and tell you the details on how I told my father I was gay and how it is going. I think I am doing a good job so I hope it helps stir up good ideas on how you can tell your father if he is like mine...

Okay, Well about a year and three months ago, I told mom. It went well overall, I merely took a few months for it to sink in and accept fully. Then last summer I told a selective number of friends and had my first real gay experience. It was amazing! :lol: Then I had another that summer, which ended horribly but at least I wasn't the one who was hurt/crazy... lol. Then university comes along and I have my first real relationship that lasted three whole months with a boy! This ended horribly too but I soon found a new love. By this time in life, all of my friends from back home knew and everyone around me knew as well. The only person who did not know yet, was my dad and brother. Basically my mom told my brother when I told her to. He is chill and didn't even care. lol. So here I am with my new boyfriend of 3 months at easter. Time to finally tell dad...

So Easter weekend happens this year and I head happily on home. I knew I wanted to tell my dad this weekend but I didn't know when or how. He is very... narrow minded and has made countless gay bashing comments during the years I had known him. Knowing this, I did not want to tell him as soon as I got home because I did not want to ruin Easter for myself. So on Easter Sunday, I wanted to tell him. My brother had friends over and they broke some thing my dad seemed to think had a life of its own (some air cleaner think we got from our dead step grandma). So I am trying to get up the courage to tell him and then he starts yelling at my brother, blah blah blahhh... So I had to get away from it all because it was too much. I hid in the bathroom and cried... Not one of my finer moments but I was stressed out... Mom finds me when I leave and she knew how upset I was. It is hard to hold tears back when a situation seems hopeless. Anyways, supper came along and dad had settled down a bit and was looking a bit more chill. After supper was done, my brother left, knowing what I was going to do and mom went to walk the dogs leaving my dad and I sitting at the table alone. So I started talking about my classes I was taking at university. I told him of my dreaded philosophy courses which actually made sense once in a while. I used this as my head into telling him. I told him how I was learning of ways of thinking, morals and being yourself. Then I said that I was being more my self than ever. I told him things I valued in life... Then I told him what made me happy. Then I told him Trevor(my bf) makes me happy... "How is Trevor?" "Dad... Trevor is my boyfriend." *Silence* Then questions upon questions happen. The ones you would expect... how long have you known? Do you know for sure? blah blah blah... So he didn't kill me! hurray! but he was having trouble dealing non the less. So then I leave back to the city happy to have this off my chest. I left my mom and brother at home with him while he apparently cried for about 2 weeks. He got ideas in his head of me doing out, doing drugs, having random gay sex, getting aids and dying somewhere on the street. He was so right! NOT! what the hell... I just thought he would know his own son better but he had the stereotypes shoved in his head for so many years, he couldn't see past his ego and not see the truth. He wrote me a letter and sent it a few weeks later. It was better than him saying it I think... Some of the things offended me in the letter but the underlying part of it was that he cared about me and was mainly concerned for my well being. So I answered all the questions back on a nice e-mail explaining his concerns which were mainly stereotypes. He was also concerned about me having kids. I am having kids eventually and there are many ways I can go about it... So that is what I said. Eventually mom and dad came to visit me again when they both knew I was gay. Dad seemed to get calmer as the day went on. I took him shopping for his b-day/father's day and did cool things with them. He just needed to see that my life was so good. He said, "You look happy and healthy." I am happy he sees this.
My life is soooo good now. He is still getting use to it and I don't think he is ready to meet Trevor yet. My mom and brother both have though... and they both like him a lot. I actually found a keeper and it didn't even take me that long because last year at this time, I hadn't even kissed a boy! I may or may not have problems with my dad in the future, but I got this far, I am not stopping now!

Basically my advice is take control of your life. It is yours for the taking. Be aware, be smart and don't let anyone put you down! There will always be someone there for you, you just have to look. I hope this helps someone, and if not, I hope you all enjoyed my story. I'll be around.

Robbie. (lol I feel like I just ended a movie or something)

 

I am pleased you guys enjoyed my story. It is funny to look back at what I went though and now the problems I face in life. (A douchbag manager who forces me to skip class to work so I will get THANKSGIVING OFF...) but now I remember I had it much worse at one point. lol. Goodluck CM if you haven't told your father yet!

Robbie