Hey everyone, Today was... interesting. I came out to my 91-year-old grandma while me and my mom (who already knows I'm gay) were having lunch. Here's how the conversation went: Grandma: "How was your trip to Niagara Falls?" Me: "It was great! The show was totally awesome." Grandma: "...so you just went alone?" Me: "Ummmmmm..." Grandma: "Isn't grandma nosy?" (Grandma laughs.) Me: "Haha, yeah, quite." Me: [whispering to mom] "Is this an okay time to tell her?" Mom: [whispers back] "If you're ready, sure." Me: [talking aloud again] "I was actually out on a date, and it was lots of fun. (I smile.) Grandma: "Oh! What was she like?" Me: "He. It's a 'he', grams. Grandma: "Hmmm, okay then." Me: "Which is why I might as well just tell you now and be done with it. I'm gay." Grandma: "Oh, no, don't say that!" Mom: "He is, mum. He's gay, but that's okay." Grandma: "Well, then I guess that's okay, long as you're happy." (Grandma looks a bit stunned.) Me: "I don't really look at it like it's a big issue or anything. It's just one of those things, y'know? It kinda is what it is... but I'm okay with it. I'm happy." Grandma: "Then I'm okay with it too. It's really nobody's business anyways, people should be free to choose whatever." Me: "Oooh, that's actually one of the things that drives me crazy, grandma. Being gay isn't a choice, just like being straight isn't a choice. It just is what it is. It's an innate characteristic. It's not like one day I sat down and decided, 'hey, y'know what, I think it'd be fun to be gay.' I figured it out and just accepted it as part of who I am because that's all it is. I've always been this way, I just managed to find a name for it." Grandma: "I agree, I didn't mean that, I agree entirely. It's one of those things that you're just born with." Me: (I smile.) "Exactly." Grandma: "Well I want you to remember that I'll always love you. You're my grandson. I love you for who you are. And you're welcome to bring your boyfriend around any time you want." And then the conversation topic switched to how school is going. All in all, a pretty good reaction. But the first bit, when she said "don't say that" at the beginning, well that bothered me. Did that original negative association go away like it appears, or is it still there and she just buried it in the recesses of her mind? I'm not sure.
At 91, I would guess that for more than half those years "don't say that" was the "correct" answer. Her initial response is probably a reflex as much as anything else.
Yeah, I agree that it was a reflex, a saying that she is used to speaking. Actually, she reacted very well. And you have a good memory of the conversation.
Wow, what a phenomenal reaction. Especially from a grandparent in their 90's. I mean, typically, I feel like the older the person, the more old-fashioned values. I'm personally really scared to ever mention it to my grandparents, so I think it's so amazing and brave that you did, and I'm so glad it turned out so well and she was so accepting and understanding. Congrats!
Glad that worked out. She took it extremely well for her age. I would be afraid if I came out I would give my grandmother a heart attack.
My auntie is 45 and VERY old fashoined... never ever telling her im a lesbian but hey congrats to the one who made this thread, so cool.
