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how to do it...i dont' know...please HELP

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by BookWorm, Jul 9, 2008.

  1. BookWorm

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    Sexual Orientation:
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    ok, i have a very religious extended family and parents who don't accept homosexuals. Like the other day my mom was humming 'i kissed a girl' and she (knowing that i'm gay-friendly not gay) said 'i think i only like that song because of the beat...two girls kissing is just nasty and wrong' and i tried to tell her that there was nothing wrong with it but she, being my mom, doesn't listen. and my father doesn't like the fact i'm in my school gsa.
    one time i went and did a test on some of my aunts and wore my gsa t-shirt from last year and it said "it's a good" and had gay, straight, lesbian symbols. and one of my aunts told me that that is sick that is wrong discuting, ect ect. and the others that were there looked at me weird and rolled their eyes.
    i have between 100 and 200 family members (aunts, uncles, cousins, parents, and siblings included) and out of that bout 200 people, i only know 2 maybe 3 that will accept me.

    i was thinking of making a video recording of myself coming out to them with a copy of 'the Bible tells me so' just because that ties in christians against homosexuals and they're all christinans so i thought that might work. or like one holiday be watching it and tell them...i don't know. i need help
     
  2. BookWorm

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    ok, i kinda noticed this too late, but i put this in the wrong form so if people get mad i'm sorry
     
  3. sngl

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    Are you sure you want to come out to your whole extended family? If you know that most of them are homophobic, it might not be worth it! You don't really have to come out to all of them, you don't have to feel like you owe them that. Just come out to the people who are closest to you. And only if you feel that you want to do it. You don't have to do it. Just my opinion...

    And if they would reject you on religious grounds, maybe you could try educating them with some PFLAG brochures.

    But good luck whatever you decide to do :slight_smile:
     
  4. Trumpetplyer23

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    I think you should just come out to your parents for now. The extended family can wait, they're not as important as your immediate family.

    Like sngl said, if they reject you on religious reasons, give them some PFLAG material. I would recommend getting the movie 'The Bible Tells Me So', it's about homosexuality and religion, Beebo posted a thread on it awhile ago, so if you're interested, search for it.

    Remember, it's your sexuality, you control who knows and when they know. No one but you can make the decision to tell people.
     
  5. Sam

    Sam
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    Are you sure you want to tell your whole family all at once? Maybe you should start with your parents. I would have materials ready to give to them. They know you are in your schools gsa so it shouldn't be a complete shock. Good luck.
     
  6. BitterEdge

    BitterEdge Guest

    I'd start with your parents and a some of your cousins...in good time you'll gain a more secure feeling with letting your "extended family" know....best of luck.
     
  7. Kat22

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    I have/had the same situation. I have a large extended family, ALL of whom are VERY religious. Devout Catholic to be exact.

    I told my grandma, who is the most important of all my family to me right now. She was the only one to have met my (now ex) girlfriend as my girlfriend as opposed to a friend. Well she told my mom's siblings, but we all still pretend like they don't know because my dad still knows. I don't get to see my cousins (who are a LOT younger than me, so I'm more like their aunt) and an offer to a godmother to one of them was retracted when they found out. :frowning2: I just recently told my little sister. She wasn't too okay with it, but she wasn't too bad about it either. I have yet to tell my dad, or any of my dad's family.

    I tell you that background to tell you that if I could do it all over again, my immediate family would know first. My dad has "heard bad talk" and it makes him sick he says. I should have told him upfront first so he wouldn't have had to deal with the hear-say. It kinda breaks my heart that I didn't do that first. Also, my life would be a lot easier and less stressful right now if just my parents and sister knew. The religion thing is a VERY big deal. I believe God wouldn't allow me to be able to do something amazing, like LOVE, someone of the same sex if it wasn't okay. The rest of my family disagrees. My little sister, who is VERY conservative, came around however, so your family might too. She just needed it to be someone so close to her.

    Good luck with whatever you choose. You know your family better than we all do, so ultimately you'll know the best way to do it. My advice though? Baby steps, dear, baby steps.