I'm back home in California for a long weekend, and this is the first time I've been home since I realized I'm gay rather than bi. I wanted to tell my parents in person, and this morning I told my mom while we were having breakfast. Mom: You seem so much calmer now than you were the last time you were home over winter break. Me: Yeah it's true. Part of it is that before I had my giant paper hanging over my head and now I'm about halfway done with it. And part of it is I'm more at peace with who I am. I've come to the realization that I don't see myself dating girls or really being interested in them. Once I accepted the fact that I liked guys and allowed myself to think about dating guys and all that, it just felt so natural and right. Mom: I just don't see it. I can maybe understand you liking both but as much as I've always been able to tell what's going on in your head, I just never saw this. Me: Honestly I'm surprised that you were surprised Mom: Have you dated anyone? Me: No, but I want to, especially once this semester is over. But I don't need to date a guy to know. Other than very early adolescence I never was thinking about girls the way I've been thinking about guys recently. It just feels right to me. Mom: It's just tough, I just don't see it. Me: If and when the time comes to introduce you to someone, will you be ok? Mom: It's going to be hard, honestly, but yes. So that's good. She loves me no matter what, and when the time comes I know she'll be walking down the aisle at my wedding even if the gender of the person I'm marrying isn't what she expected. Now I need to tell my dad, and that conversation will probably go about how the conversation with my mom went. And then I want to bring up the possibility of how and when to tell the extended family. But I'm glad that went well with my mom, especially considering things with her were kind of tense over winter break.
Congratulations on coming out to your mom. I know it can be quite difficult to tell a parent, and I'm glad things went pretty well. Good luck with your dad!
It's clear your mom is struggling, but is doing her best to be OK with it, and that's really all you can ask. Congratulations to coming out to her, and I wish you the best in coming out to your dad.
I told my dad this morning. He's much more accepting and is more concerned about my social anxiety and lack of self-confidence getting in the way of me dating than he is about the gender of the person I date. Yay! I consider this a successful trip home! Now back to the cold and hard work...
